PROFILE: ALEX JAY
With a career spanning three decades, Alex Jay is still on the airwaves, hosting Weekend Breakfast on 947 and KFM, and Solid Gold on 702/Cape Talk. Ever the entertainer, he’s happy to talk about the loves of his life – music and family.
SA’s most recognisable voice waxes lyrical on his two big loves: music and his family
‘Iswear this is a true story,’ says Alex. ‘My love of music literally began in the cot. My mom was a big pop fan and she kept the radio on all the time. Every time ‘She Loves You’ by The Beatles came on, I’d lose my crap and shake my legs around. ‘For my third birthday, I kid you not, I was given a turntable, one of those old-school Bakelite things. My grandparents took turns to buy me seven singles. They’d say, “Play that song.” And I’d look through the labels, pick the record and put it on. And it was the right one! There was a connection to the shimmering joy of pop; it resonated with me. I was like a tuning fork – boi-oi-oi-oi-ng-ng-ng!’
It makes perfect sense that Alex’s other big love, his wife Fiona, shares his love of music: her vinyl collection is bigger and better than his. They met through work. As a record company publicist, Fiona went round the radio stations with new releases. At the time, Alex was a junior DJ on Radio 702. ‘I took one look at her and fell instantly in love,’ he says. Later, a friend told Alex that Fiona had had a huge crush on him too but didn’t want to appear to be stalking a DJ. It took about two years for Alex to make a move.
‘It came together rather magically on the dance floor at a Radio 5 function, in front of the assembled industry,’ says Alex. ‘That was one way of announcing our involvement: “Why are those people slow dancing when they’re playing banging ’80s music?!”’
We all know Alex as a laugh-aminute kind of guy, so was that what got Fiona’s attention? ‘That wore off after the first two weeks,’ he says. ‘The thing about girls loving a sense of humour is a load of crap. She loves my hairstyle! A young Aussie hairdresser in Hillbrow got me the girl.’ For the first few years of their relationship, Alex and Fiona ‘did a lot of fun stuff. I went to her gigs, she went to mine. And every spare rand we had went on travel’.
But then came ‘a bolt from the blue’. In Taipei, they were standing on the plaza at the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial, admiring the pagoda roofs. A group of schoolchildren in little sailor uniforms arrived, all holding hands. ‘Fiona took one look at the kids and squealed,’ he says. ‘And in seconds I realised that her
most earnest desire was to have a child. To my surprise, I was in tune with that.’
‘Both Fi and I grew up without our fathers: her dad died when she was very young so she didn’t get to know him, and my dad buggered off when I was little, leaving my mom to battle on her own. Like all parents, we wanted to make sure it was better than we had it. It was a no-brainer for us. See the bigger picture and be a little less selfish, that’s what it is.’
Fiona and Alex have been together for over three decades now, and married for almost 27 years. ‘Good grief, we’ve gone through just about everything,’ says Alex. ‘Three decades of insanity. But marriage is a life sentence worth striving for.’ On a more serious note, he says they’ve come to respect each other, to understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses – and when not to press buttons. Their fights are usually about ‘frivolous rubbish. But that’s a symptom of something else. I unpick and unpack. I’m a great talker. To my wife’s irritation [eyeballs rolling], I become Therapist Jay.’
Alex has three kids, two with Fiona. His eldest daughter, Elektra, is from an earlier relationship. On Father’s Day a couple of years ago, Alex tweeted, ‘My children helped make me become the adult I am.’ It’s a comment that will resonate with many parents of his generation: the forever-young who feel they’ve never quite reached adulthood themselves. ‘Even though I had a good partner in Fiona, I might have just bopped around and been a lot more laissez-faire about life,’ he says. ‘It was our kids that provided the necessary compass point; they made me grow up. And it’s about more than just the responsibility; it’s the creation of home, it’s being part of that whole process, which is wonderful and horrible and magnificent and terrible. Without my children, and the purpose they gave me, I wonder what would have happened. I fear the worst!’
Elektra is a Cape Town party planner; the other two haven’t left home yet. Maxine is an attorney, and Connor is completing his BA in visual communications in Johannesburg. ‘Two adults, over and above my wife and I, consuming bandwidth and food! The internet’s dragging? It’s coz the kids are home!’
Alex says he was never worried about whether his kids were hanging round the wrong people, or doing drugs. ‘None of that stuff. I’ve started feeling the guilt of, “Uh-oh…. we had them in a really bad world.” We bitched about the one we got, but this one… Everything has changed. The business models have changed, entire swathes of industry are closing. This is a whole new set of worries and issues.’
There might be new issues, but Alex has also experienced his fair share. He was unceremoniously dumped, at the age of 40, after 18 years with the SABC. ‘It’s okay, they gave me a Parker pen and pencil as a farewell gift.’ And then there was the time he was invited to audition for a TV show. He got a call saying, ‘The gig’s yours if you’re prepared to pay for the facial surgery.’ Alex’s take? ‘Tell all the Fairladies that if they’d said, “The channel will pay for the tightening,” I’d have done it! But seriously, I don’t care if you think I look too old. I’m just fine, thank you. I can still hit a golf ball 250 metres and walk a good 10 kays without breaking a sweat.’
AT 55, he’s still working in an industry that puts a premium on youth. How does he hang in there?
‘As every avenue closes you become a smaller person. So stay healthy, stay young in the head, and keep your outlook open. I’m trying to stay relevant by keeping my ears fresh and playing new music. Don’t close yourself – it’s as Zen and as simple as that.’