Hope’s story

Fairlady - - PSYCHE -

Dur­ing her first con­stel­la­tion, it emerged that Hope* was ful­fill­ing a role in her fam­ily that wasn’t hers. ‘My fa­ther died when I was 14 and since then I’d felt that I needed to sup­port my mother emo­tion­ally. But by do­ing that, I was fill­ing the par­ent role and treat­ing my mother as a child.’

‘This is some­thing that chil­dren do be­cause they love their par­ents,’ says Tanja. ‘They try to help, but it takes too much from them. Or they start to feel re­sent­ful and an­gry be­cause they aren’t get­ting what they need.’

‘I had to de­cide what to do, and my choice was to step down into my own role,’ says Hope. ‘I am the se­cond sib­ling; I am a child in that fam­ily; my mother is still alive. I need to let her take re­spon­si­bil­ity – and there was a lot of re­lief in let­ting go and let­ting her do that.

‘I was ac­tu­ally shocked at my ar­ro­gance. You do it out of love, but it’s kind of presumptuous. She is Mum. And I should let her take parental re­spon­si­bil­ity. I let her be the el­der in the fam­ily. Even with my un­cles, there’s a lot more re­spect. I let them play their roles.’

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