MY SECOND MOTHER
Fiona Obeng & Mary Peters & Audrey Simpson
Losing a parent is never easy, but to experience it at the age of 15 while you’re still facing the ups and downs of your teen years was a colossal knock to Fiona Obeng.
‘I was very shy at school; I never talked about my home life,’ says Fiona. ‘I’d put up a front and always be smiling at school, but I knew that when I went back home there would be no lunch or food for that night.’
Fortunately, Fiona’s Grade 4 teacher, Mary Peters, sensed that something was amiss.
‘She knew that I came from a very poor background and that my mom was a single mother who was often ill.’ Mary took Fiona under her wing and began inviting her to her home after school.
‘She’d make sure I did my homework, and gave me something to eat before taking me back home.’ In class, Mary also encouraged Fiona to reach her academic potential.
‘She helped me realise that I was intelligent.’ By giving Fiona some special attention, Mary helped her get through Grade 4 with a sense of empowerment.
‘Even when I moved on to Grade 5, she still made sure I was eating lunch and participating in extramural activities.’ The confidence that Fiona had built up, however, came tumbling down in 1995, the year her mom passed away. Ms Audrey Simpson, Fiona’s English teacher, knew of her mother’s passing and made a point of reaching out to her.
‘Ms Simpson became my second mother,’ says Fiona. ‘I remember sitting in her classroom and talking about anything and everything. She just allowed me to be; she never made me feel that I didn’t belong.’ At one point, Fiona was feeling particularly overwhelmed by her circumstances.
‘I was blaming everything and everyone, thinking life was so tough and wondering why I had to go through this. Ms Simpson was the one who told me: “Life
doesn’t happen to you; you happen to life. So you need to decide what you want. You need to take your power back and know your value. Don’t look for that value and love in men. You have to first understand who you are. And make sure when you enter a room, you stand tall. Don’t hide behind your circumstances.” She instilled that confidence in me at a stage in my life when I wasn’t sure whether I was coming or going.’
Even when it came to buying Fiona’s matric dance tickets or getting her lunch when she couldn’t afford it, Audrey filled in as a mother. But just like any mother, Audrey also had to show Fiona some tough love.
‘She’d be brutally honest about life,’ says Fiona. ‘She would never sugar-coat things. She made me understand that you have to work for everything you want. I always used to think about her advice and wonder: “How can you say that to me when you have no idea where I’m headed? I don’t have the resources; I don’t even have a mother!” Yet now, these are the same lessons I teach my own children.’
Now mother to a 14-year-old, a 10-year-old and a seven-year-old, Fiona is still in contact with both Mary and Audrey. Mary and Fiona keep in contact via social media, and Audrey stays in touch via WhatsApp.
‘She still guides me and motivates me,’ says Fiona. ‘And she always reminds me that I’m the best thing that could have happened to my kids!’
‘Ms Simpson only taught me English, but she became my second mother,’