YOU’RE A FRAUD! AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT

Overcoming imposter syndrome

Dealing with self-doubt is an everyday struggle for a surprising number of people. It’s that little voice that says, ‘You just got lucky.’ ‘They made a mistake; they’re going to figure you out.’ ‘You don’t have what it takes and it’s just a matter of time before you fail.’ Welcome to the imposter syndrome club – at the very least, you’re in good company!

World-renowned poet, writer and activist Maya Angelou once said, ‘I have written 11 books, but each time I think, “Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”’ Albert Einstein had the same nagging feeling; he described himself as an ‘involuntary swindler’ and felt that his work didn’t merit the recognition it had received.

Not many people can claim to share the talents of Angelou or Einstein, but feeling like you don’t deserve recognition for your accomplishments is all too common.

Quick personal story: when FAIRLADY first appointed me, I was pretty sure they’d made some kind of mistake. I was halfexpecting to get a call to let me know they’d meant to give the position to someone else – someone more talented and accomplished. And when that didn’t happen, I was sure that by my first six-month review, they’d realise they’d made a terrible mistake. I wish I could say that the feeling has gone away, but I still have that nagging voice in my head every time I submit a story.

What is imposter syndrome?

Why are there so many people who feel they don’t deserve the things they have, no matter their accolades or credentials? Coined in 1978 by Dr Pauline Rose Clance and Dr Suzanne Imes, the term ‘imposter phenomenon’ (also known as imposter experience and imposter syndrome) refers to ‘self-perceived intellectual phoniness’. The term first appeared in an article titled ‘The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention’. The two academics interviewed 150 high-achieving women who were all recognised in their fields, and despite clear evidence of outside validation, they did not seem to have an accurate perception of their own competence. Instead, they all chalked it up to luck or believed that the peers who were praising them were exaggerating their abilities. ‘The greater our success, the more we tend to feel like an imposter,’ Dr Clance explained.

Katlego Kolobe, chief coaching officer and founder of The Positive Success Movement, based in Johannesburg, once heard something that explained it perfectly. She was told that smart people often shy away from top jobs (like the presidency of a country, for example), but those who are completely unqualified for the job think they’re perfect for such a position.

Why is this? ‘Smarter people are usually more aware of the gaps in their abilities and what the requirements and responsibilities of that role are, whereas others may be overconfident because they can’t see the pitfalls,’ she explains. ‘I’m sure you’ll find examples of this if you were to pick up a newspaper today.’

‘Feelings associated with imposter syndrome include a lack of self-trust; feeling like you just got lucky to have got a job, promotion or accolade; and generally feeling like you don’t deserve the accomplishments you have,’ explains Carien HugoWaring, a Rapid Transformational Therapy practitioner based in Durbanville, Cape Town.

The core belief is that you don’t feel good enough, and this plays out in all areas of your life.

The five types

Although Dr Clance and Dr Imes’s initial study focused on women in top jobs, imposter syndrome has been seen across genders, races, age groups and occupations. Yet we often feel alone when we experience feelings of self -doubt. That’s because when we look at our colleagues, we don’t see the hard work they put in and the emotions they’re going through. All we see is that Lucy delivered a brilliant presentation and there’s no way we can match up to it.

But the truth is, you are most likely surrounded by people

‘Smarter people are usually more aware of the gaps in their abilities and what the requirements and responsibilities of that role are, whereas others may be overconfident because they can’t see the pitfalls.’

Imposter syndrome can also mean that we stop voicing our ideas when brainstorming, or we don’t apply for that promotion because we think we don’t deserve it.

who feel exactly the same way. Dr Valerie Young, author of the book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It, is considered the leading expert on imposter syndrome. She identifies five types of self-defined ‘imposters’.

1 THE PERFECTIONIST

Probably the most obvious candidate in the bunch – they’ve set the bar so high that falling short seems almost inevitable.

2 THE SUPERWOMAN/MAN

Because they feel that they can’t measure up to their colleagues or peers, the Superwoman/man tries to juggle as many roles as possible, and do them all well. By dropping the ball in any role, whether it’s as a partner, parent, friend, volunteer or employee, it means they’ve failed (even though it is impossible to do it all).

3 THE NATURAL GENIUS

They’ve probably been told from an early age that they were smarter or more talented than most kids their age. School was probably easy for them and, because of this, they set the bar higher and higher each time, like the perfectionist. Eventually, they will hit their limit and start to doubt their abilities.

4 THE SOLOIST

They feel that they need to do everything on their own, because asking for help is an indication that they aren’t capable of doing the job.

5 THE EXPERT

This person measures their success according to what and how much they know or can do. Even though it’s unrealistic to want to know everything, even a minor lack of knowledge on a topic will make this person feel like a phoney.

A female affliction?

Women and minorities are traditionally under-represented in the workplace, and so are usually the ones most affected by imposter syndrome. ‘The more people in an office who look and sound like you, the more confident you feel,’ explains Katlego. According to Stats SA, by mid-2019, our population was estimated to be 58,78 million, with women making up 51 percent of that number. But even though women make up the majority of the population, we are still not seen much in positions of authority – 46 percent of those who enter the workplace are women, but only 7 percent are executive directors. And on top of that, we’re still marginalised in the workplace. Research by Accenture shows that for every R1 a woman earns, a man earns R1,91. Since women are paid less than men and move up the corporate ladder at a slower pace, is it any wonder we are more susceptible to questioning our competence?

We’re also told to act ‘more like a man’ in the workplace, Carien adds. ‘Don’t get emotional.

Don’t be such a girl. Toughen up…We doubt our authentic female energy, as this doesn’t “fit” the stereotypical corporate/ successful norm.

‘In time, we start doing to ourselves what is being done to us – being told we’re not good enough – even when we clearly are,’ says Katlego. And we’ll even do it to others for the same reasons. ‘This is a form of internalised selfdiscrimination, and when you add perfectionism and anxiety to the mix, imposter syndrome can easily become rampant.’

Imposter syndrome can also mean that we stop voicing our ideas when brainstorming, or we don’t apply for that promotion because we think we don’t deserve it. ‘It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that snowballs and can cost you your reputation,’ says Katlego.

How to combat it

When it comes to tackling imposter syndrome, the strategy that usually comes up first is to talk about it. You are definitely not alone. In fact, most high achievers feel the same way; we just don’t talk about it. So whether it’s a colleague you trust or a friend you can call, confide in them. They will be able to reassure you that it’s just in your head, and that it’s completely normal.

Dr Valerie Young’s key piece of advice is this: we need to recognise that the only thing that separates us from the non-imposters is that

they don’t think like that; so we simply need to learn to think differently. Carien adds that, according to Dr Joe Dispenza, we operate on about 95 percent subconscious beliefs and 5 percent conscious beliefs. ‘We all have beliefs that hold us back,’ she says. ‘The best way to overcome this is to make sure we align our subconscious and conscious beliefs – the most important of which is, “I am enough.”’

Katlego agrees, saying that you need to bolster your self-worth and self-compassion, and also be more aware of what you and other women are up against – and give yourself a break. ‘You have to become your own coach and best friend. It’s important to look at your difficult times as opportunities for learning and growth.