How to dispel negative thoughts about yourself

DR ERICA MUNNIK, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND SENIOR LECTURER AT UWC

1 Stay mindful.

Be aware of the powerful impact that negative thoughts have on your feelings and actions. We seldom have to succumb to ‘always’ or ‘never’, although we think like that regularly. Thoughts, feelings and actions are linked. Negativity is okay, but do not drown in it. You are stronger than you think you are. Perseverance will result in emotions that are more positive, and will give way to more hopeful thoughts. Thought patterns are linked to past experiences, and insight into these experiences will also help you to discover the origins of negative thoughts. Being mindful about this will allow you to challenge these thoughts.

2 Take control.

Don’t blame others or the situation for the way you’re thinking, feeling and doing. You are allowing it, so be mindful and take responsibility. You cannot change others; you need to start with yourself and maybe then have a ripple effect on your environment. Context and the demands of life are in a constant cycle of change – be aware that realistic expectations can become unrealistic because of external contextual challenges. Be patient – adjustment and redefinition take time.

3 Be kind to yourself.

Don’t let the ‘emotional junk yard’ build pressure and explode. Be gentle with yourself, but also remain aware of your emotions and find constructive ways of channelling them. For example: enjoy nature, listen to your favourite song and sing along, enjoy a meal with family or friends, exercise, focus on the here and now. These things are building blocks to a better mindset. Small gestures of self-care will build momentum to healthier thoughts, feelings and behaviour. If you’re unable to be mindful and find yourself in distress, seek support.