JAILBREAK PRACTICES
Dr Rein shares a number of tools in her book Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Barrier to Women’s Success and Happiness. Here are two easy ones to get you started:
REPOWER TOOL
This tool takes only 1–2 minutes and has a cumulative effect: the more often you take breaks throughout the day to use it, the more your nervous system will settle. It’s invaluable in helping to ‘disarm’ the danger (stress) responses that crop up throughout the day.
Sitting or lying down, feel the sensations of your feet on the ground, your body supported by the furniture, your breath moving your ribcage, belly and back. Take your five senses on a tour of the environment: take in the space around you through your eyes; your ears; and your senses of smell, taste and touch. This simple practice allows your nervous system to ascertain that in this moment you’re physically safe, and drop into relaxation.
JOURNALLING
What are you tolerating? It can be difficult to see all the ways that different forms of trauma operate in our lives, because often those patterns are so ingrained. One of the biggest clues is in the parts of our lives that we are tolerating. What circumstances in your life pinch just a little? What are you putting up with, and why? Take a moment to reflect. In your answers, you’ll begin to see the outline of the prison walls.
What is your deepest desire? Your prison guards know there is nothing more dangerous to the patriarchy than a woman who is in touch with her desires. As a consequence, they protect you from connecting with your deepest desire. Visit drvalerie.com for a guided meditation on connecting with your desire. As you listen, notice which ‘prison guards’ run interference, getting in the way of that connection. It could be distracting or dismissive thoughts or a feeling of unease. These are breadcrumbs showing you where PSD has been operating under the radar.
Journal about these breadcrumbs and see what else arises. You may not immediately feel a connection to your desire, but any awareness of this is a win. Repeated use will bring greater and greater awareness.