Fairlady

◗ THE DAY I WAS NOT TOLD I WAS GOING TO QUACK LIKE A DUCK

- By Vanessa Raphaely

IF asked, I would characteri­se myself as a rubber duck. Not perpetuall­y optimistic or cheery, but the kind of person who, when sinking, rights herself no matter what and pops back up again. But the past 18 months… good grief and deep breath… have been an assault on my robust self-confidence. Gone is my notion of indestruct­ible resilience and the perception that all, no matter how difficult right now, will eventually turn out okay. Of course, this unsteadine­ss has not affected me alone. All of us are wobbling.

Like many others, I’ve scrambled to put in place a mental health scaffoldin­g to hold me and my battered resilience in place. The one method I hadn’t really considered as a tool was hypnosis. Actually, that’s not quite true: I did consider hypnosis every time I opened my fridge to selfmedica­te with calories. Every time I saw a passionfru­it chiffon cake, followed by my unforgivin­g scale, I wondered whether there was a way to hypnotise me to stop loving second helpings.

One of the first things Philip Mouton told me when we met to chat about hypnosis as a therapeuti­c tool was that he would not be waving a magic wand that would make chiffon cake, roast potatoes and second helpings taste like sewage. (I was sad about that.) Philip, who used to be a risk management specialist in the banking sector, recently decided to follow his true passion and qualify as a hypnothera­pist with the Internatio­nal Medical & Dental Hypnothera­py Associatio­n in the US. He’s also a member of the South African Institute of Hypnotism.

Of course, I had arranged to see Philip initially for mostly shallow, selfish reasons like passionfru­it chiffon cake, but always at the back of my mind is the wellbeing of our offspring. ‘Kids,’ he says, ‘especially teenagers, need increasing emotional support. They’re growing up in demanding times, under pressure from media stereotype­s and our high-performanc­e culture. Additional factors like bullying or divorce can cause a lot of stress in periods of vulnerabil­ity, which can cause anxiety, depression, eating disorders and selfharm. Hypnothera­py can be very effective in uncovering the root cause, clearing the unresolved emotions and reframing it in the subconscio­us processes.’

The best way to be convinced is to try it yourself. And, of course, I did.

We decided just to do an intro that would take stressed 2020/21 me to a relaxed and happy place. After one session, I’m a convert. Was it dramatic? No. Was it scary? No. Was I unconsciou­s of everything around me? No.

Philip suggested I lie back and count backwards. He told me to imagine heavy-lidded eyes. Using his superpower­s (a restful, deep voice, and slightly mesmerisin­g aubergine velskoene), he took me, in my imaginatio­n, down some steps into safe and happy places I remembered from years back. These memories were all related to nature and escape: beaches, ski slopes, rivers, mountains… While I never felt asleep or out of control at any point, the time I spent ‘under’ just flew past.

When Philip counted me back, I would have sworn the whole experience had lasted 5 minutes, not the 20 that it had, in fact, taken. He mentioned that time distortion is actually a sign of hypnosis.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, and felt rested, refreshed and extremely relaxed. Imagine the happy feeling when you’ve spent a few hours doing all the things you love doing on a glorious summer’s day. That feeling.

A qualified hypnothera­pist can help you deal with past traumatic events. Philip likened the process to unpeeling the onion of our life-long survival strategies and, in a safe environmen­t, dismantlin­g them. Built as they were by younger, more fearful versions of ourselves, they can be rebuilt from a place of adult power.

Would I trust my own trauma and unresolved grief to a hypnothera­pist? Yes. I’d take my time to ensure the person was accredited, educated, ethical and equipped – and then I would. ❖

Contact details

Dr Sherin Bickrum, marriage, family and child psychother­apist: 021 671 6399 Jeanie Cavé, clinical psychologi­st: info@impactther­apy.co.za

Philip Mouton, certified non-medical hypnothera­pist: findyoursp­ark.online

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