‘I’ve finally been able to find compassion for myself.’

Kate (44), educator

Before I knew I had ADHD, I used to manage the symptoms by exercising intensely. When I relocated to Beijing for work, I couldn’t exercise as much and I developed chronic insomnia. A friend convinced me to seek help, so I went to see a psychiatrist in Hong Kong. I’d been misdiagnosed with bipolar a few times and prescribed medication that sedated me to the point of not being able to function. This psychiatrist prescribed a small dose of a medication for treatment-resistant bipolar patients, which was fantastic because all it did was help me sleep (and still does).

I continued to read up on my symptoms because I was still experiencing emotional dysregulation and outbursts, and I wanted answers. Then I came across the website IHaveADHD.com, and I realised I was a textbook case: Emotional dysregulation. Impulsivity. Insomnia. Hyper-focus. Perfectionism. Outbursts.

Getting a diagnosis wasn’t easy. I saw multiple psychiatrists and had to fight to be given an assessment, because they all believed I was bipolar. I finally received an ADHD diagnosis, but then I couldn’t gain access to medication (for a variety of reasons, including strict regulation and the language barrier).

It was only when I returned to South Africa for a visit that I managed to access medication, which has helped by lowering the volume on everything.

Medication doesn’t fix everything, though. You still have to work on your awareness of symptoms and develop

skills to manage them. So I’ve been working through ADHD coaching material for women on how to manage it (via the website I mentioned).

Understanding the symptoms has been life-changing, because now I can look at my behaviour and emotions through a different lens and respond differently. You can be really hard on yourself if you’re unaware that you have ADHD, because you feel like you’re getting so many things wrong. I’ve finally been able to find compassion for myself – and a way forward.