Managing finances as a couple
They may be fraught, but conversations about money are necessary for partners to build a successful life together
February is the month of love, dates, holiday trips, presents and possibly even planning a life together. I recently had a candid conversation with my local hairdresser which evolved into a debate about money and relationships. It became apparent that the topic of finances within the context of a relationship is not freely spoken about. Some topics about finances are off limits and women in general are not comfortable broaching this subject freely with their significant others without coming across as overbearing or disrespectful, let alone as gold-diggers solely after financial gain in a relationship.
With this in mind, I wanted to find out how couples can successfully navigate the intricacies of managing finances together. After all, this should be a priority if the intention is to develop a serious relationship and ultimately build a life together.
Topics that should be covered under managing finances together include shortto medium-term financial goals; how to set a budget; monthly expenses (who pays for what?); debt; and, finally, dependants.
One of my non-negotiables when my husband and I were getting married was not spending a large amount of money on a white wedding when we didn’t have a house, which my partner understood.
It’s important to be as transparent as possible about where you are financially before a relationship gets serious.
Here are three important considerations a couple wanting to manage their finances together should consider.
Shared goals
Understand what your financial goals look like individually and as a couple.
For the shared goals, it is important to strategise and set realistic, measurable targets, such as “we want to buy a house in the next five years”.
In this case, set timelines you can work towards. It is also key to assign tasks and responsibilities for each goal so that you can hold each other accountable as you work together as a team.
For example, in our marriage, investing is a key component of realising our longterm
financial goals.
So we decided that we would share a car as a family and use the savings to expedite our investments.
Budget and expenditure management
Managing a budget is paramount to the success of the shared goals you have set, and it’s important to be transparent and fair about each person’s earnings as well as the proportion of income attributable to the budget which encompasses fixed and variable expenses, savings and investments.
In some cases, it might mean having joint accounts where expenses are shared, or separate accounts with each individual paying for certain expenses.
Setting boundaries
Knowing each other’s non-negotiables is important — this requires actively discussing your financial boundaries as a couple.
Examples of boundaries include not getting into debt without your partner’s knowledge, and how to manage financial requests from extended family members. Set clear guidelines on how you will respond to these, as well as the amount you will not exceed when it comes to supporting family members.
None of this is easy, but managing your finances together is an aspect of love and respect, and crucial to building a successful life.