Traffic cops in a healthy new guise
Our provincial traffic officers have undergone metamorphosis. For starters they’re looking as if they’ve just had a workout at the gym.
On our trip to and from the Mother City we are stopped at roadblocks and these guys and dolls in uniform are slim and efficient. And perhaps more importantly, extremely polite. And we are told up front, clearly and forthrightly, it is a roadblock and we need to produce our driver’s licence, and “unfortunately, sir, we need to check your boot”.
Oh dear, hope they don’t smell the boerebeskuit my Heidi baked for our daughter, and confiscate it for their roadside tea break. No worries there.
But we are subtly questioned about our comings and goings, all the while near enough for them to detect any alcoholic fumes. The poor lady who does me has to put up with a breath ponging of padkos two hard-boiled eggs, gone-off garlic and full-blown cheddar. A distinct flaring of the nostrils, followed by a little cough, but she holds her pose as if intoxicated on a whiff of Avroy Shlain. And just in case some alcohol is hidden in the malodorous mixture, she asks me to get out of the car and accompany her to the boot. Hearing my creaking bones and gasping for air on exiting the driver’s seat, she apologises for the inconvenience (more like pain) caused by the exercise.
Seeing my wife’s luggage overload brings a sympathetic and understanding smile to our slick officer’s face. Thankfully we didn’t take up son-in-law’s offer of kreef and perlemoen, otherwise we might’ve joined the poachers behind bars.
Seeing this new-look force in action I couldn’t help putting it down to our new president with his penchant for good health - expecting the same from the ground force. As opposed to a prezzy dancing on stage (now doing pyjama drill in Nkandla), we have one walking briskly with the plebs.
If the roadblocks are anything to go by, we can take heart. Evidently the officers have been taught how to deal with drunks and bad drivers at the wheel. And to treat the good ones with civility.
Hopefully local cops will follow suit, giving up trapping innocents for tracking the real speedsters. Sitting behind trees for hours ain’t healthy.