Getaway (South Africa)

The Thread

Tasting ‘delicacies’ for a dare

- Words Keith Bain

The hauntings began even before the unholy deed had taken place. I say unholy, although we all know that to some folks, eating strange animals is a spiritual undertakin­g. Consuming wild beasts – or even humans – in order to absorb their powers pre-dates history. As does using animals to staunch affliction­s and cure illnesses.

My intentions were, shamefully, far less noble. Unlike my nomadic forebears, I wasnʼt eating an elandʼs heart for sustenance or survival.

I had no legitimate intention whatsoever. I did it on a dare, to satisfy my curiosity, to expand my list of traveller boasts.

Like many fast-evolving cities, Taipei is a cocktail of fast-forward futurism spiked by traditiona­l beliefs. You can be in a hightech, earthquake-proof skyscraper one moment, the next in a pagoda-style temple burning ʻghost moneyʼ as an offering to Kuanyin, goddess of mercy. Which, as you know, is how you transfer cash to loved ones in the afterlife.

Taipeiʼs also blessed by the food gods. It brims with unusual flavours and exotic aromas. At Shilin Night Market, among the trinket stalls, electronic­s dealers and sidewalk masseuses, every imaginable Taiwanese snack is displayed. Delicious bao stuffed with pork; oyster omelettes; bubble tea, avocado milkshakes and squeezed-to-order sugarcane juice; and – of course –ʻ stinky tofuʼ,a beloved fermented soy delicacy that reeks of old socks.

Itʼs not all so innocent, though. Deliciousn­ess abounds, but so do dreadful dishes, especially deadly if youʼre the thing thatʼs being snacked upon.

In this city thatʼs forever racing towards the future, I was regularly served shark-fin soup in fancy restaurant­s, and in bars we snacked on deep-fried bumblebees by the bowlful. One delicacy – this time a Vietnamese import – was fertilised duck egg. You literally eat a baby bird before itʼs even hatched. Scrumptiou­s, although a bit creepy.

But I was young, dumb, and eager to experiment with the exotic. And so it was that I found myself seated at a Formica-topped four-seater in a dingy cubbyhole-sized restaurant in a notorious covered market known, unironical­ly, as Snake Alley.

Iʼd wondered through it before to experience the ick and eww factor, gawp at the snake-handlers fondling defanged cobras, witness cooped-up adders and constricto­rs in glass cages, displayed as still-alive-but-not-for-long menu items.

Although now banned, 20 years ago there were still public performanc­es of snakes being slaughtere­d. Sometimes skinned alive for the mere amusement of passersby. Can you imagine?

Calling the cramped space a restaurant is a bit of a stretch, too. This was not somewhere you went for sustenance but to dip into some kind of dark magic. You went in there to take the life-force from a snake, suck down its superpower­s by consuming its bits and pieces.

Or, in my case, just to satisfy my compulsive curiosity, live up to a dare.

There was no ritual or ceremony; to the restaurate­ur this was simply another serving of broth in which floated two pieces of white meat. Traditiona­lly, it was served to fix a fever or treat stubborn skin ailments.

The soup was part of a combo-package. On the side were two shot glasses. In one was a hit of snake bile. Apart from improving eyesight, drinking it apparently cools the liver, curing everything from constipati­on to tinnitus. It was mixed with alcohol, presumably to take the edge off its ghastly taste.

The other shooter contained a few drops of blood, also mixed with a strong spirit. According to one ancient Chinese belief, warm snakeʼs blood works like Viagra. The more venomous the snake, the more potent the results. Iʼd heard you could order cups of the stuff but neither my stomach nor my wallet were up to it.

Trouser-snake jokes abound, sure, but itʼs no funnier than believing in the metaphysic­al mumbo-jumbo of powdered rhino horn or crushed pangolin scales.

Also on the menu? Snake venom. And they could apparently procure serpent semen. Snake penis wine was a thing, too. As was plain snake wine – made by putting a snake in sake along with other creatures such as turtles and insects and letting it steep for months. Eek, no!

Despite ordering the basic combo, I ate and drank with long teeth. And a heavy heart. It wasnʼt just the taboo factor, it was the unsettling sensation that I was crossing a line.

And cross it I surely did. Because ever since that unholy night 20 years ago, some uncanny connection has existed between myself and all of snake-kind.

Itʼs as though they know what I did, and they refuse to let it go. They taunt me in my dreams, plotting their revenge; they meet me on mountain trails, waiting for just the right moment to strike.

The nightmares and the spooky sensation I feel in the pit of my being are not the ghosts of malevolent snakes come to haunt me, though. Theyʼre feelings of shame.

This was not somewhere you went FOR SUSTENACE but to dip into some kind of DARK MAGIC. You went in there to take THE LIFE-FORCE from a snake

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