“I tried facials for my sleepy eyes”

When I was at university, I went to visit my best friend William. I asked him whether I would fit into the bustling metropolis where he lived.

“No, you don’t have the eyes,” he said, pointing to the area below his pupils. “If you lived here, this would be all dark.” Six-plus years after moving there, I have the eyes – and then some. So when I got engaged and began planning my wedding (usually between 11pm-2am), I went from looking like I needed a nap to looking like I needed a vitamin B infusion.

I tried serums and creams. And exercising regularly helped a bit. But my dark circles still progressed from pale lavender to eggplant, and I developed a long ‘puffy face’.

On a trip to Paris, after a few nights of jetlag-induced insomnia and a diet of pastries and crêpes, I took my tired face to the spa. For me, a good facial includes extractions and heavy-hitting exfoliant. Here, I received an intense deep-tissue face massage, designed to stimulate my muscles and keep my skin from drooping. It worked. I emerged with facial contours I didn’t know existed, and the under-eye darkness was less dramatic.

Back at home, my face was back to its water-retaining self. So I made an appointment to see a celebrity facialist whose roster of clients read like an awards ceremony nomination list. Her facial uses a micro current machine, which does to your face what a Pilates class does to your butt. Her tools jolted my muscles into formation. She worked the micro current wand along my brows while electronic patches gently pulsed along my neck, jawline and cheeks.

After that, my face looked sculpted, my brows more arched and my eyelids smooth. Kate Winslet had three facials in a week before the Oscars. I get it.