Your 60-minute sex over
Keep going for longer with a bit of sensual deprivation. “Sex is a body, mind and spirit practice,” says sex educator Jenny Block. “When you are wholly involved on all fronts, everything happens faster.” Instead of moaning, talking dirty or shouting, stay as silent as possible – it’ll force your partner to be creative, and find new ways to stimulate and connect with you.
Practise masturbation meditation
Say what now? Noisli (R29.99 on IOS and Android) is an app that lets you custom-mix relaxing or invigorating sounds with white noise. Construct your own de-stressing pre-sex soundtrack to help get you in the mood or listen during solo play for the ultimate chill-out experience. Concentrate on deep, slow breathing and focus on every sensation as you explore.
Swap ‘bored’ for ‘board’
A round of adults-only board game Tie & Tease can transform a grey evening into a Fifty Shades one. Roll the dice and work your way through the BDSMthemed challenge cards, which encourage you to experiment with spanking, dominance and sensory deprivation in a lowpressure, fun way.
Totally worth breaking the ‘no phones in bed’ rule, the Ohmibod (Free on IOS and Android) turns your phone into a remote control for the vibrator. The Bluetooth connection works for lovers who want to play in the same room, but you can upgrade to the Wi-fi-enabled controlled play, so even if you’re miles apart, you can still enjoy that extra hour.
If your partner loves a back rub, but you find pummelling their shoulders exhausting, try ‘micro massage’. Use the tips of your fingers to trace small circles on their skin, starting behind the ears, then down the neck, across the collarbone and shoulders, and down the spine. Add tiny tapping and pressing motions, but keep it light: it’s relaxing and sensuous for them, and excuses you from the strenuous stuff.
Want a new toy? Lelo has just released Lily 2 (matildas.co.za; R2 295), an updated edition of it’s iconic Lily clitoral vibrator, available in three scented options. When it first hit the market, Lily was the first vibrator designed not to look phallic, and it’s changed the shape of sex toys ever since. It’s latest incarnation boasts a high-power motor, and is completely waterproof – ideal for buzzing in the bathroom, the bedroom, wherever.
Try raunchy reading
Need some self-love inspiration? Female-friendly porn site frolicme.com offers erotic fiction and sophisticated, cinematic films showing real models and real sex. Stories are often paired with movies, so you can read the tale, then watch it being acted out.
Catch up on your zzzs
A study found that lack of sleep directly affects your sex drive and how easily we become aroused. An extra hour of sleep led to a 14% increase in the odds of sex the next day and increased the ease with which women felt genital arousal. Stress and sleepdeprivation can impact your sex life, so enjoy the lie-in – and be grateful for it later.