Sex

How to walk into a sex shop like you own the place

Glamour (South Africa) - - Contents -

Sex shops can be a great way to check out a prod­uct be­fore be­com­ing very fa­mil­iar with it, but they can also be in­tim­i­dat­ing. The en­tire premise be­hind this type of shop­ping is that you’ll go into a place of busi­ness and ex­plain to a stranger who works there what would give you the best or­gasm – def­i­nitely not a sit­u­a­tion you en­counter any­where else in life. Can you imag­ine get­ting that per­sonal with a Woolies em­ployee?

There are easy things you can do to guar­an­tee a straight­for­ward, ed­u­ca­tional and to­tally not-daunt­ing ex­pe­ri­ence. Sex-shop em­ploy­ees Ryan Di­martino and Vic­tor Tobar share a few easy tips to avoid look­ing like a deer in head­lights.

Find the right kind of shop

Ryan ex­plains you should look for a store that’s “ed­u­ca­tion-cen­tric”, a model be­com­ing com­mon around the coun­try and a far cry from the seedy porn shops of the past. “An ed­u­ca­tion-cen­tric shop isn’t fo­cused just on mov­ing prod­uct but on mak­ing sure that we’re able to help you find the right thing and know how to use it prop­erly,” he says.

To find sex-pos­i­tive shops in your area, do a lit­tle re­search: read un­bi­ased sex blogs or even just look at a store’s web­site to make sure di­verse body types and pref­er­ences are rep­re­sented.

Don’t turn ev­ery­thing into a joke

An­other tell that you’re a sex-shop first-timer? Crack­ing jokes. “There are times when peo­ple come in and ev­ery­thing be­comes a joke re­ally quickly,” says Ryan. “That’s a re­ally com­mon de­fence mech­a­nism. Be­cause, as a so­ci­ety, we re­ally don’t have the tools to talk about sex in a healthy or de­sex­u­alised way with strangers.” If you feel the need to make a joke, that’s fine, but re­mem­ber that these em­ploy­ees have seen it all.

And make sure you don’t yuck any­one’s yum by mak­ing a joke about a prod­uct an­other cus­tomer might be in there look­ing for – just be­cause you feel awk­ward doesn’t mean you should make some­one else feel that way, too.

And if there aren’t sex shops in your area, don’t fret: sites like Matil­das (matil­das.co.za), Désir (de­sir.co.za) and My Sex Shop (my­sexshop.co.za) have on­line shop­ping – and dis­creet ship­ping.

Ask ques­tions

You likely came into the store be­cause you had a ques­tion, had your eye on a prod­uct or were cu­ri­ous about what the shop is ac­tu­ally like – that’s great! So ask that ques­tion or find out what to do with that thing; lots of rook­ies don’t. “It’s clear it’s some­one’s first time if they walk in and walk right out with­out ask­ing for as­sis­tance,” says Vic­tor. You’re al­lowed to find an em­ployee first thing and ask them for help – they’re prob­a­bly more than happy to tell you which con­doms or vi­bra­tors they’d per­son­ally rec­om­mend.

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