What before-and-after pictures don’t tell you
Side-by- side images of weight loss are addictive to scroll through. But let the women in them tell you what you can’t see.
before-and-after photos have become a full-on social media phenomenon. But these kinds of images can never really show you a start and end point to anyone’s weight or health journey. They’re just part of a story – often a lifelong one, with ups, downs and U-turns. We asked three women with widely viewed before-and-afters to share the real deal on their personal odysseys and what they learnt that we should all know.
“It was never about having a perfect body”
About five years ago, I set out to lose the 9kgs I’d put on during my second pregnancy; my older daughter had told me I looked beautiful, and I’d responded, “No, I’m not. I’m fat.” I couldn’t believe I’d said that to her, and I didn’t want to go on feeling like I wasn’t taking care of myself. So I started making sure I was moving more each day, I cleaned up my diet and I lost the weight. I felt good, and I wanted to see what I could do next. I began working out harder, doing more strength training and eating even less. I didn’t take rest days. When I posted my photo, people said I was an inspiration, which should have been motivating for me. But I wasn’t happy, at least not in the way I wanted to be. I had no balance in my life. It’s heartbreaking to look back and think that I couldn’t enjoy playing with my kids because I was so concerned about the love handles I thought I had. So two years ago, I changed my views. The most important thing, I realised, isn’t my weight – it’s staying true to who I am. I have stretch marks. I have loose skin. I’m never going to be perfect. When I shared this part of my story, it turned out that my ‘failure’ was even more inspiring to people. Sure, some people have said, “So you got fat.” But that’s OK. I bounce back because I know I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I can cope with my anxiety, my marriage is stronger, I’m a better mother and I found a new career path as a health coach. I spend more time with my kids, and I’m present for it. To the negative comments I say: fitness doesn’t have to be one thing. My goals aren’t to get more defined or lose weight; I want to be fitter and happier as a whole. I’ve learnt I can’t evaluate fitness using someone else’s definition of health. And you can’t evaluate someone’s health by looking at a photo, either. No one’s opinion about my body matters besides mine. I lost sight of what’s important. It’s not how I look. It’s how I feel. – Joanne encarnacion, 34
“I didn’t think I’d still be dealing with criticism”
About a year after I had my daughter, in early 2014, I reached my heaviest weight of 149kgs. I had back pain, and I wasn’t able to be the mother I wanted to be, so under the advice of my doctor, I received bariatric surgery (weight loss surgery where the stomach size is reduced by removing a portion of the stomach). After about 18 months, I lost 68kgs. I had all this excess skin, so much that I thought I’d done something wrong, because no one else was talking about this part of their weight loss. I later realised it’s entirely normal. Because I’d started with unrealistic expectations, I decided to document my journey on Instagram (@mandas_muffintop), hoping that my photos would make other people feel less alone. It was painful. When I was plus-size, people told me I was unhealthy and looked terrible; some people made fun of my loose skin, saying things like, “Your stomach looks like an old man.” After I got surgery to remove the excess skin, I thought that would be the end of the criticism, but now people come at me asking how I could be body positive if I’ve had skin-removal surgery. I did it to improve my quality of life. I don’t have to worry about moving my skin around to sit. Of course I’m body positive; how else could I put myself out there like this? Sometimes I think it would be easier if I shut down my Instagram, but then I remember the positive feedback I’ve gotten. My followers tell me they feel more comfortable in their body because of me. I want people to love themselves no matter what stage they’re in. Before, after, in between. – amanda roberts, 25
“people body- shamed me”
Until three years ago, I was a smoker, I drank and I didn’t eat well. I was a crash dieter, and would look in the mirror and put myself down. I wasn’t happy with where I was emotionally and I’d heard working out could help with that. Then I found celeb personal trainer Kayla Itsines’ online community and was inspired by the supportive women there. I signed up for her 28-Day Healthy Eating and Lifestyle plan, and went from years of not exercising to logging six workouts a week. I was stronger and treating myself with more respect. I was proud of what I had accomplished, so I decided to post some before-and-after photos. The next day, Kayla featured my photos on her Instagram account (@kayla_itsines). I was ecstatic – until I read some of the comments. People said I looked better before, I looked sick now and I must be unhealthy. For two days I obsessed about reading the posts. I was so confused and hurt. I knew I had made healthy changes in my life. I reminded myself that people didn’t know that I used to eat poorly, drink and smoke. I focused on the mental progress I’ve made, something people can’t tell by looking at a photo. One person implied I was romanticising anorexia, but later reached out to me and apologised; she said she didn’t realise I was a real person. I thanked her. That apology meant a lot to me. People will always say judgmental things, but I’m not doing this for them. I’m doing it for me. – michelle spindler, 33