WILLEM DURAND, senior implementations consultant
The word consent means to give your permission or ‘ go ahead’ to perform a certain action, and of course I think men understand this. I’m a man and I understand. There is no excuse for any other man to not know what consent is. I do think that it’s possible for a woman to be raped by her husband or boyfriend. If she doesn’t give her consent, it’s rape. A husband can’t force his wife to make love; it’s her body. Just because ‘two become one’ when you get married, doesn’t mean you are now the owner of your wife and can do whatever you want to her. You must always respect her and treat her with love. Hurting and forcing is not love.
The lines can’t be blurred between when consent has been given and when it has not – I think it’s common sense. If a girl dresses in revealing outfits, it’s not consent. If she smiles and says “Hello”, it’s not consent. If she says “No”, it doesn’t mean “Yes”. If she starts screaming, scratching and biting you, it’s most likely not foreplay. It’s her letting you know the answer is no.
If there is any doubt in a man’s mind as to whether the woman has given consent, then he should ask her straight away, “Are you sure you want to do this?” If her answer is “No”, then the doubt is gone, and the man should stop and take a cold shower.
I’m teaching my son to always respect and love his fellow man. God made men physically stronger than women. He didn’t do this so that we can dominate them; He did it so that we could protect them. If any man rapes a woman, he is a weak coward.