WILLEM DU­RAND, se­nior im­ple­men­ta­tions con­sul­tant

Glamour (South Africa) - - #Think -

The word con­sent means to give your per­mis­sion or ‘ go ahead’ to per­form a cer­tain ac­tion, and of course I think men un­der­stand this. I’m a man and I un­der­stand. There is no ex­cuse for any other man to not know what con­sent is. I do think that it’s pos­si­ble for a woman to be raped by her hus­band or boyfriend. If she doesn’t give her con­sent, it’s rape. A hus­band can’t force his wife to make love; it’s her body. Just be­cause ‘two be­come one’ when you get mar­ried, doesn’t mean you are now the owner of your wife and can do what­ever you want to her. You must al­ways re­spect her and treat her with love. Hurt­ing and forc­ing is not love.

The lines can’t be blurred be­tween when con­sent has been given and when it has not – I think it’s com­mon sense. If a girl dresses in re­veal­ing out­fits, it’s not con­sent. If she smiles and says “Hello”, it’s not con­sent. If she says “No”, it doesn’t mean “Yes”. If she starts scream­ing, scratch­ing and bit­ing you, it’s most likely not fore­play. It’s her let­ting you know the an­swer is no.

If there is any doubt in a man’s mind as to whether the woman has given con­sent, then he should ask her straight away, “Are you sure you want to do this?” If her an­swer is “No”, then the doubt is gone, and the man should stop and take a cold shower.

I’m teach­ing my son to al­ways re­spect and love his fel­low man. God made men phys­i­cally stronger than women. He didn’t do this so that we can dom­i­nate them; He did it so that we could pro­tect them. If any man rapes a woman, he is a weak coward.

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