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The dating terms to know

The dating terms you need to know – and how to steer clear of being ‘orbited’ and ‘pocketed’.

f orget the good old days of meeting someone in a bar and embarking on a modern ‘courtship’. As anyone who has attempted to find love in 2019 knows only too well, modern dating is an absolute minefield.

First, you need to learn to navigate various dating apps (Bumble, Tinder, OkCupid) and labour over the perfect profile picture and bio, then you need to pique a potential partner’s interest with a killer opening line – and that’s all before you’ve even met.

After a potentially awkward date, one must sit and await their fate. Throw into the mix a plethora of differing ways of being rejected and it’s enough to crave celibacy for the rest of your days.

And while you’ve probably heard of ghosting, there’s a host of new dating terms to get to grips with. We’ve enlisted dating trends experts Eugénie Legendre and Dennie Smith to reveal the new trends you need to know for navigating dating this year.

Orbiting

So you and that one special person ended things because “It’s not you, it’s me.” You’ve noticed that while you’re off enjoying the single life, that person continuously likes all your photos and spies on your Instagram stories, just so you know that they’re thinking about you and leaving you wondering, ‘Are we or aren’t we?’ If someone isn’t quite in your life and not entirely removed, then it’s likely you’re being orbited.

StaShing

This term denotes being someone’s guilty secret with no introductions to friends or family. “It’s like they’re ashamed of being seen with you,” says Dennie. “It’s also a real indicator of a manipulator and someone who wants to control your activity,” she adds.

POcketing

The horrid trend of pocketing is on the rise and you don’t want to be the one being stuffed into a pocket by someone you really thought a relationship was growing with. A pocketer is only ever available when they want to hang out or whenever their schedules are clear of any public encounters. Make sure you’re always with someone who is excited to show you off.

benching

Ever have the feeling the person you’re dating is still dating? Welcome to benching. “Benching is when you’re someone’s Plan B or C while they shop around for a better deal,” Dennie says.

cOOkie Jarring

So you’ve been seeing someone for some time now and want to have a little extra security, just in case. You start getting friendlier with someone else, so you have something to fall back on if it all goes wrong. If you’re guilty of this then you’re officially cookie jarring. Give yourself time to get to know someone without the influence of anyone else and if things just don’t work out, then that’s OK.

PrOwling

You’ve been hanging out with someone and really getting to know each other. But wait – all of a sudden they’re gone! They disappeared with no explanation and you’re left shattered and confused about what went wrong. Thankfully, your friends finally pull you off the couch and get you to enjoy a night out. But then that person reappears and acts as if nothing happened. This is a prowler; toying around with your emotions, so keen to hunt you down one minute but then there’s no trace of them the next. The prowler is always more hassle than they are worth.