Mr Know-All’s Croa­t­ian fluke

Go! & Express - - CLASSIFIEDS -

IF THE types of peo­ple we would least like as com­pan­ions on a desert is­land, most of us I’m sure, would put down the “know-alls” first. This group is up there with the ill-tem­pered, the moan­ers, and the hypochon­dri­acs, al­though raf­fle-ticket sell­ers would be close also-rans.

The “know-alls” are in a class of their own when it comes to rais­ing the blood pres­sure and fray­ing the tem­per.

Sig­nif­i­cantly, the “know-all” is rarely a mod­est type of in­di­vid­ual. The peo­ple who are gen­uinely blessed with grey mat­ter, are usu­ally quick to ad­mit their lim­i­ta­tions and their reser­va­tions in mat­ters beyond their scope.

We have the ex­am­ple of Sir Win­ston Churchill in deal­ing with a Latin prob­lem when he was a school­boy at Har­row. He once said that af­ter much re­flec­tion on an ex­am­i­na­tion ques­tion, he put a cir­cle round the num­ber but then could not think of any­thing even re­motely con­nected to the sub­ject that was ei­ther rel­e­vant or per­ti­nent.

Ein­stein was hum­ble enough to tell a ques­tioner that he hadn’t the vaguest idea of what con­sti­tuted an omelette and the Bishop of Can­ter­bury is re­puted to have told an au­di­ence of clerics that he thought Chris­tian Dior was one of the French saints.

How­ever, while the ge­niuses and the in­tel­lec­tu­als are will­ing to ad­mit their ig­no­rance, the “know-alls” have an an­swer for ev­ery­thing and are al­ways ready to tell us how to solve the world’s prob­lems.

“Mr Know-All” is found ev­ery­where. He is al­ways on the touch-line of a rugby match shout­ing ad­vice at the ref and ask­ing him if he has left his spec­ta­cles at home. And al­though he has never lifted a gar­den spade in his life, he knows when and how to plant seed pota­toes. His golf hand­i­cap is 30 but he will tell his club pro why he sliced his drive. He played cake league cricket but can ad­vise AB de Vil­liers how to im­prove his cover drive. His chil­dren are delin­quents but he is an author­ity on the up­bring­ing of the young.

But what is even more mad­den­ing about the “know-all” who is al­ways wrong, is that he is oc­ca­sion­ally right. Such a per­son known to me had been for weeks telling any­one within earshot that Croa­tia would fea­ture in the Fifa World Cup fi­nal. I mean please, hands up those who even know where Croa­tia is?

Well, I know now that it bor­ders Ser­bia some­where down in the south-east of Eu­rope. And who won Wim­ble­don? No­vak Djokovic, of course, who is also from that part of the world. It’s his­tory now that tiny Croa­tia (pop­u­la­tion: 4 mil­lion) gave mighty France (pop­u­la­tion: 67 mil­lion) an ad­mirable run for their money in the fi­nal.

Must be some­thing in the air!

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa

© PressReader. All rights reserved.