Christmas shopping is a nightmare
If we all discipline ourselves and stick to Covid-19 protocols, the alarming spike in infections here in East London will drop and with several vaccines now being rolled out worldwide, we could be in a better place sooner rather than later.
Let s hope and pray that that
’
is so.
But before that we have much to contend with and that includes Christmas shopping. That truth may not be so startling to women who generally break the back of Christmas shopping while December is still in its infancy but to wretched males it means panic.
The wretched male, if he is average, has not yet bought a thing. One occasionally meets the non-average type who, with condescension, informs us that he purchased gifts for everyone including uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews, way back in November.
But for the rest of us males there is misery and misgiving immediately ahead. We will shuffle round trying to remember the size of our wife s
’
shoes or our uncle s taste in
’ literature.
By early next week we shall probably find ourselves wandering about the malls with the gait and manner of a somnambulist, wracking our brains for a solution.
Sod s law says a friend will
’ catch us among intimate female garments when we are really only looking for a bottle of perfume.
No, Christmas shopping is not for us males and the whole business should be left for the distaff side of the family.
It is true that in delegating these duties, the head of the house runs the risk of boosting his January bills to unprecedented levels but most men would gladly pay out the extra just to get out of the December tribulations.
Women may have their shortcomings but when it comes to Christmas shopping they know exactly what they are about. They always have a complete list of relatives, deserving or otherwise; they always study the advertisements and have the uncanny knack of giving the just-what-I-needed
“”
present to everybody.
They are paragons of foresight and organising ability and what s more, seem to enjoy
’
the whole business.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Ice, Ice Baby
It was so cold where we
“
were,’’ said an Arctic explorer at a Christmas re-union, that the
“
candle-light froze and we couldn t blow it out.”
’
That s nothing,” replied his
“’
friend. Where we were, the
“
words came out of our mouths in pieces of ice and we had to fry them to see what we were talking about.”