Good Housekeeping (South Africa) - - YOUR LIFE -

Be­cause it’s hard to think clearly in a cri­sis, it’s smart to have your strat­egy ready to roll in ad­vance. Steps such as these – writ­ten for some­one who has just lost her job – can work for any set­back. IM­ME­DI­ATELY AF­TER you’re laid off, jot down what you’re feel­ing – blind­sided, an­gry, scared, re­lieved, what­ever. Re­searchers have found that writ­ing about a trau­matic event, rather than re­play­ing it in your mind, can help you make sense of it. Then take a few days to sim­ply feel all these things, keep­ing up your rou­tine: work out, meet a friend for lunch, go to bed at your reg­u­lar time. Re­silient peo­ple give them­selves space to process emo­tions, but don’t wal­low so they stay busy and con­nected. ASK YOUR­SELF, ‘Do I see a path forwards?’ If you don’t quite yet, re­peat step 1. Other­wise, write out steps on that path, whether big or small: one might be ‘Up­date LinkedIn’ and an­other ‘Ap­ply to study fur­ther’. Your list does not have to be per­fect – you’re sim­ply open­ing your mind to pos­si­bil­i­ties in­stead of dwelling on distress. MAKE A MOVE. Even if you still feel bad, do at least one list item daily and build up to more. Some may seem silly and you might have to step back to move forwards (for ex­am­ple, you can’t ap­ply for fur­ther study with­out dig­ging out your past de­grees). That’s okay: re­silient peo­ple are flex­i­ble with goals. WRITE DOWN three to five things that you’re grate­ful for each week. Re­search in­di­cates that build­ing grat­i­tude may bol­ster re­silience by re­duc­ing feel­ings of hope­less­ness and pow­er­less­ness. ASK FOR HELP. Be­ing re­silient does not mean han­dling ev­ery­thing your­self. Talk to a good friend or a ther­a­pist who can help you re­shape your per­spec­tive.

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