you will be of­fi­ci­at­ing a wed­ding next year

GQ (South Africa) - - GQ EXCLUSIVE - – Martin Mul­keen

If you haven’t done it yet, you will soon. Of­fi­ci­at­ing at your friend’s wed­ding is about as com­mon as god­par­ent­ing these days, ex­cept there’s no risk of get­ting stuck with guardian­ship. Oh, and did we men­tion the lifeaf­firm­ing tin­gle you’ll feel while fa­cil­i­tat­ing the union of two pre­vi­ously lonely earth crea­tures? Here’s how to set about the task

1. ask them: why me?

You’re not fish­ing for com­pli­ments; you’re gath­er­ing cru­cial in­tel. If they say ‘Be­cause you knew Steve back when he was shat­ter­ing col­le­giate flip-cup records,’ your as­sign­ment is a lot dif­fer­ent than ‘Be­cause your track changes on Steve’s lit-mag sub­mis­sions were so in­sight­ful.’

2. it’s not an ex­tended toast

You’re not go­ing for laughs. Don’t re­hash wild times. At no point should you ut­ter the words ‘this guy knows

what I’m talking about.’ The glory in of­fi­ci­at­ing comes from let­ting the grav­i­tas and beauty of the oc­ca­sion do the talking.

3. at least pre­tend to Be a holy man

Life of­fers but few

op­por­tu­ni­ties to in­vest in a leather­bound fo­lio. This is one of them. Rel­ish it. And make sure you look the part – suit and tie, etc. Full pa­pal re­galia, how­ever, is not en­cour­aged. Un­less you’re at AfrikaBurn.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa

© PressReader. All rights reserved.