How to use technology to build your network

One of the world’s top podcasters, Jordan Harbinger, shares how he uses tech tools to form real relationships

With an affinity for social influence, interpersonal dynamics and social engineering, Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned interview talk show host, and a communication and social dynamics expert.

He’s also worked for various governments and NGOS overseas, travelled through war zones and been kidnapped – twice. He’ll tell you the only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of) just about any situation. Here, he shares his advice on how to build a global network without ever needing to jump on a plane.

GQ: You started your career as a lawyer. How did you shift to podcasting and coaching?

Jordan Harbinger: I started working at a Wall Street law firm and realised that everybody seemed smarter and as hardworking as I was. So, thinking I’d get fired if I didn’t find another competitive advantage, I wanted to learn how to master my soft skills, such as networking, persuasion and influence, to learn how to generate business for the firm. I created my podcast, The Jordan Harbinger Show, so that I’d have access to the best leaders and coaches in that space, and over the past 12 years it’s grown into one of the largest interview podcasts in the world. I never thought this would turn into a “show” of its own. I was putting in a lot of time every day burning CDS and realised how inefficient this all was. There was no convenient way to host mp3 files on the Internet and allow other people to access them. Then I found out about podcasting, which was brand new at the time. I submitted my show to itunes in 2006, and I believe it was one of the first thousand podcasts in the directory.

GQ: What’s your perspective on podcasting now – do you think the “airwaves” are too crowded?

JH: I don’t think the podcast sphere is overcrowded. In fact, I think there is a lot of room for new shows with novel ideas. We need even more voices and creators that don’t look like and didn’t grow up like me (a white guy who lives in California and New York and grew up in Detroit). There’s many people starting podcasts to get rich and doing the same thing as everybody else (yammering on about nothing, trying to interview one another to turn into some sort of influencer) – there’s way too many of those. But if you’ve got something different to add to the mix, the market welcomes you, and I’ll be one of the first to check you out. For podcasting, this is just the beginning.

GQ: Pivoting to networking, how has the definition of networking changed over the years – what does networking mean today?

JH: Networking is now a dirty word. People equate networking with annoying sales pitches, slinging business cards over stale cookies at some boring mixer. Now, building relationships is making a return to its roots, namely getting people to know, like and trust you in a way that’s organic.

I go about this by helping other people without the expectation or attachment of getting anything in return. This way, I’m free to help other people get what they want without keeping score or trying to find some angle about what’s in it for me. This is liberating and makes networking a lot easier and more fun. Networking is now about making friends and helping them succeed, as opposed to trying to figure out how to get something from other people. This makes the process interesting and sustainable.

GQ: Apart from your podcasting and coaching, how has networking furthered your own career or professional ambitions?

JH: Where do I begin? I’ve met all my close friends and even my wife through the show. Also, when I hit hard times with the business in 2018 and ended up having to start from scratch, I was able to rebuild a bigger and more engaged show by leveraging my relationships and contacts. You have to dig the well before you get thirsty. By the time you need to leverage a relationship, you’re too late to create it, so you have to build your network before you need it.

GQ: How do you separate networking from idle conversation or a like-for-like social media exchange?

JH: True relationship building is not transactional. You don’t worry about what you’re getting out of it; you’re only looking to help other people get what they want. Usually this means introducing people you already know to one another. This keeps things scalable so you don’t have to do a bunch of unpaid work for everyone you know. When you’re doing this, you’re finding out what other people need and helping them find people who can make that happen. You’re not asking them for anything in return, and you’re not making small talk. You’re literally asking what people are working on and what they need help with, and you’re executing on that.

GQ: How do you use tech to not only establish but maintain those relationships and connections?

JH: One of the first things I do each day is get out my phone and scroll all the way to the bottom of my text messages. Those are the conversations that are the oldest. I usually find two to three people in there that I haven’t spoken to in years and I send them a message checking in with them to see how they’re doing and what they’re working on. This lets me see how I might help them. This takes just a few minutes each day and is painless. The other thing I do is use Contactually, a customer relationship management tool, where I keep my most important business and personal contacts. The software reminds me to connect with people that I haven’t heard from in a specific period, say 90 days or so. This keeps a huge number of my contacts engaged over time, and few people slip through the cracks.

GQ: Social media has made digital interactions easy and smooth – how does this translate to in-person networking?

JH: Social media has hindered in-person networking, since people think tweeting at someone or liking a photo on Instagram is now a suitable substitute for real contact. On the other hand, we can use social media to create connections that we’d otherwise never get, because everyone is more accessible now than ever before. Instead of clicking the “like” button on a photo or leaving a comment when someone has big news (promotion, baby, wedding), pick up the phone and call or text that person instead. It’s much more intimate and there’s a higher likelihood that they’ll see your message and start a conversation.

GQ: What practical advice would you give to South Africans looking to grow their network abroad using digital platforms?

JH: Use digital platforms to “beat” geography. It used to be that you had to live in New York or Los Angeles or another big city to have access to people doing big things. This is becoming less and less important. You can use digital platforms to start interactions and maintain relationships with people you’d otherwise never meet or befriend. Combine this digital outreach with relationshipbuilding skills and you can lay a lot of groundwork and create a strong network abroad before you ever leave South Africa.

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If you’ve got something different to add to the mix, the market welcomes you, I’ll be the first to check you out