vusi THEMBEKWAYO

the entrepreneur’s entrepreneur has the most recognisable laugh on Instagram – and words of wisdom to share every day

‘Allow yourself to be young, to grow, to learn, to be mentored, to find your own path. Take your time – it’s absolutely critical’

gq: what’s the biggest challenge facing men today? vusi Thembekwayo: As it stands, the notion of masculinity can be harmful: men are not able to be vulnerable, to self-express, to cry, to admit weakness, as this is interpreted as “unmanly”. We need to redefine the role of masculinity, so that going forward we don’t live such toxic lives, which includes the highest suicide rates in the world, especially amongst men. I think this is largely due to a definition of masculinity that is both unhealthy, and impossible to meet.

gq: In business and in life, what do you think is the essential life skill we need? vusi Thembekwayo: The life skill to take into the future is that of empathy. It is sorely lacking in our world today. We live in a world that rewards you with “street cred” if you criticise. There are no rewards for empathy.

gq: what’s been your biggest achievement this year? vt: My biggest achievement this year has been building a better relationship with my family – particularly with my wife and kids. Clearly formulating my priorities, and saying “no” to those things that impinge on them – and this year, I have said “no” a lot. If something conflicts with family time or a family commitment, I decline. It’s taken a while, but this year I’ve learnt that saying “no” allows me to say “yes” to the things that I love.

gq: what’s the biggest challenge facing men today? vusi Thembekwayo: I am trying to help us understand that two things can be true at once. I think we live in a binary society, which leads to tunnel vision and judgement – the notion of for or against, with no nuance. This type of binary thinking limits so many aspects of thought, action, and actualisation. I believe that it is critical for individuals to challenge themselves to exist in the grey, nuanced area of life, which is where the deepest truths reside. The world is not binary. It is not for or against. Privilege and disadvantage co-exist, as do opportunity and loss. I feel we are operating on a dangerous plane, currently, that encourages people to “pick a side”, and any variation from that team-think will have you branded as a sell-out or traitor. This is not only self-limiting, but deeply divisive for society.

gq: what message would you pass on to the next generation vt: My message to the young men of the country is to allow yourself to be young, to grow, to learn, to be mentored, find your own path, and the latitude and space you need to truly find our own individuality and express that to the world.

It’s absolutely critical… take your time.. »