MY BROTHER’S KEEPER
Your vibe is your tribe, and as you strive towards being the best version of yourself, you’ll naturally attract better. Here, executive life coach Jason Bernic shares his insight to set you up for success on your journey of self-actualisation
THE modern man is An Evolved version of our Elders, forefathers And THOSE WHO SET THE STAGE in motion, says jason Bernic. ‘It serves us to understand our humble origins, and even lean into our cultures, traditions, values and beliefs, but the world has changed, and so have we, whether we know it or not,’ he adds, affirming that you have a choice in creating the life you want.
‘You get to share thoughts and opinions, and question your traditions, beliefs and the way the world works. It’s the curious mind that leads us closer to self-actualisation and fulfilling our dreams.’ Below, he shares advice to help you show up to your responsibilities as the sort of person your future self would be proud of.
Speak out
Standing up for what you believe in makes you human, so long you do it respectfully. If you have an opinion, question or desire for discussion, it’s your human right to raise your hand and invite someone into a conversation.
Often, raising a subject and exploring it results in new insights and subsequent growth. All contributing parties are allowed to be heard and understood. In many cases, the willingness to “go there” reduces collective emotion.
But sometimes it can add fuel to the fire, so you should be aware of how you show up. I advise you consider the outcome you want and whether it’s worth negatively affecting a relationship to be heard. There’s a balance to be struck.
Mental health practitioners have never been so busy, and global suicide rates are at an all-time high. What’s been happening in the world over the last two years has affected people mentally, emotionally, physically and financially – and some may have not survived the burden.
practise self-care
You have to take care of yourself and the absolute foundation to this advice is to eat and sleep well, drink lots of water and exercise. If these pillars are in place, you’ll perform and deliver better. Grit is described as courage, perseverance, adaptability and resilience, the latter of which I’ve been working closely with for the last year and a half.
It turns out that at least 80% of our resilience is genetic, which is why I include a DNA test in my practice that reports on your resilience across seven molecular areas, and includes advice on interventions to improve it. Diet, supplements, exercise and certain lifestyle changes are imperative to regulating emotions, so you can adapt to stressors you experience.
reach out
You’re not alone, and I encourage you to reach out to others in times of need, whether trivial or for survival. Sometimes, you can remain behind the scenes, reading and watching videos with content produced by those who’ve “been there”, or can advise on dealing with a situation or moving on. But a quiet approach doesn’t always work because the knowledgeaction gap is difficult to bridge.
In addition, reaching out to another human being allows you to be vulnerable and lean into your edge, which is what you need if you want to affect change, especially within yourself.
You have people in your life you can lean on – just make sure their support is in your best interests and that they don’t have their own agenda. Some of the biggest insights in people’s lives come from a single conversation. You can control how deep you go and at what pace, but find the courage to begin.
on navigating different aspects of your life friendships
These are different to other relationships, such as spousal, familial or professional. They offer a different energy and support in different ways. They can be an emotional shoulder to cry on or an escape from a problem. They can also encourage you to pursue crucial aspects of your life. It’s wise to maintain the friendships you have and develop new ones that suit you. The older you get, and the more you have going on in your life, the more selective you’ll be when choosing the people with whom you share your time. Fill your life with people who energise you, and step away from those that don’t.
relationships
Relationships are connections you have with yourself, others, things and the world. You play your part in each one of those, but you only have so much influence and control. The work you do on yourself – personal growth and development – contributes to each of your relationships. When you show up in those as an evolved version of yourself, you’ll help evolve them.
fatherhood
I created a coaching circle called “To BE a Dad”, for men who want to be better fathers, and the response was overwhelming. Throw relationships and responsibilities into the mix and most men find it difficult to manage time, take care of themselves, focus on their marriages and have fun. It becomes work-parent-workparent, and they spend their spare time sleeping. The good news is that there are ways of creating everything you want – you may just require a little support.
career
Whether you’re employed, own a business or anything in between, you should focus on two things: doing the best job you can and asking, ‘What’s next?’ This advice is about your own self-respect as well as your professional development. If you keep doing the same thing in the same way, day after day, life becomes mudane. But if you seek to create the impossible, you’ll live an exponential life. I know these are two extremes, but being anywhere on the scale speaks to your personal fulfilment, which is to be happy. What do you think that would take?
personal development
This is linked to the evolution of the self, as mentioned in the introduction to this article. Naturally, you’ll grow, but why wait? If you know what you want, decide on the person you need to be to get there, and then collapse time and be that person now. The process is, of course, more involved, but that’s the theory. Start by setting yourself a small goal and reducing the time you first considered achieving it. Play with this. Start somewhere and keep going. And, by the way, we can learn, and learn some more, so keep learning.
‘you’re not alone in this world, and i encourage you to reach out to others in times of need, whether trivial or for survival’
to connect with Jason bernic, visit successcoaching.co.za