Omakhwapheni banamuhla kabasalazi ikhwapha
NJENGOBA siphuma osukwini lwezithandani obeluyizolo - iValentine’s Day, ngithe mangicubungule lolu daba lomakhwapheni banamuhla abangasalazi ikhwapha.
Kulezi zinsuku zama- blesser nama- yellow bone, omakhwapheni sebeqhetha kusofa babukele i- flat screen kamama wekhaya. Njengoba sekwaduma i- social media nama- selfie, kabasafihleki. Umthola umuntu esefake isithombe se- selfie kuFacebook, kuTwitter noma kwi-Instagram, esihlobise ngezinhliziyo ezibombu etshela izwe lonke ukuthi akakuthandi uyafa.
Ungalokothi uwazibe amaWhatsApp akhe ngoba uzothumela intalasididi kuze kukhononde umama wasekhaya, akubuze ukuthi kawuyibheki ngani imilayezo yakho, njengenhlalayenza. Kunombhemu lapha oyi- blesser odla izambane likapondo, obengikhalela ethi omakhwapheni bakhe bamxabanisa nenko- sikazi. Bamshayela ucingo entathakusa, bemazisa ukuthi baphelelwe yimali yeziphuzo.
Ngimtshele ukuthi makayeke ukuba ngumathand’ ezincane ngoba ezindala zimbangela ufehlane. Phela la ma- yellow bone afunde ezikoleni ezixube izinhlanga asezenza abelungu kanti imigomo yekhwapha akayazi. Omakhwapheni babekhona nasemandulo, futhi babenza umsebenzi obaluleke kabi.
Babegcina imizi yabanumzane ifudumele, ukuze ingabhidliki. Nabo abesimame babeba nawo amashende uma obaba bengasawufudumezi umbhede. Ubunokuthola umama ehaya ihubo, ecula unoyana ekuseni ngovivi enza iwashingi, ube wazi kamhlophe wena ukuthi amangwevu uwakhiphe ngaphandle, wafika endlini wadla ubuthongo.
Kwakunemithetho nemigomo engalotshiwe eyayengamela omakhwapheni. Amashende ayebizwa ngomakhwapheni nje ngoba ikhwapha lifihlekile, futhi okungaphansi kwalo kakubonwa. Le nsizwa eyi- blesser yona ithi abayo omakhwapheni bathi mababe yisihlanu kanti basebancane ngeminyaka. Yanyukubala yathukuthela yagana unwabu uma ngiyibuza ukuthi ngesikhathi isakhula yayishimile yini njengoba isishela ngemali nje.
Phela ama- blesser ngikholwa wukuthi kwakuyizishimane, kanti imali yiyona eyisoka kuwona. Thina sikhule kusashelwa, izinsizwa zinolimi olushelelayo. Intombi yayize ibhale phansi ngoqukulu ikhophozele, iphelelwe ngamagama sengathi idle u- toffoluxe. Namuhla izintombi sezithi faka imali uzobona. Uma uthi uyashela ikutshele zisasuka ukuthi ungayichitheli isikhathi.
Sekushelwa ngezindawo zokudla ezidumile, nesikhathimoya ( airtime) siwungqaphambili. Kuthiwa-ke ubu- blesser buhamba ngamaleveli. Zikhona izintombi ezichazwa yikhentakhi (KFC), ezinye zifuna ukudla ezindaweni ezidumile lapho ipuleti libiza khona u-R400, kanti kawulitholi iwayini elibiza ngaphansi kukaR500. Le blesser, egama lingabizwa, yona ithi omakhwapheni bayo yabathengela izimoto, okusho ukuthi ihamba yodwa kweyayo ileveli.
Kukhona abaqashela omakhwapheni ama- townhouse abiza imali yerenti engasukumi phansi, babanike nemali yokuzimotonga, eyokudla neyezimpahla zokugqoka. Umfihla kanjani umakhwapheni osumthengele imoto? Uthini nje ekhaya uma kuphuma u-R400 000 we-vrrrr pha kwiakhawunti yakho? Cha amanye amadoda anesibindi senkomo - lokhu okuthiwa yiliva.
Izazi zithi lapho kunenkinga khona kukhona amathuba okwenza imali, ngicabanga ukubhala ibhuku elisihloko sithi “Makhwapheni 101”. Lizochaza konke okungenziwa nokuvumelekile ekhwapheni, futhi liqukathe neziyalo. Leli bhuku-ke lizolandelwa ngelinye engizolibiza Blessers’ Bible. Phela laba bantu abashiswa yimali nabo badinga usizo. Mihla yonke ama- blesser azithola esefike kwaMgaduli, kwambilamhlope. Khona maduze nje uzozwa kuthiwa i- blesser ithengele umakhwapheni ibhanoyi.
Yekanini i- yellow bone yabantu isifuna indawo yokupaka ibhanoyi egcekeni le- town house noma efulethini. Selitshela umshayeli webhanoyi, likhuluma ngamakhala lithi: “park it right there next to my bedroom window”. Phela inkinga ngebhanoyi wukuthi kalishayashayelwa nje noma ngubani, kanti ngeke uyithenge incwadi yokulishayela njengezincwadi zokushayela imoto.
Uma kwakunjalo, amabhanoyi ayeyoqathaka emoyeni njengezindoni. Masethembe-ke ukuthi izithandani zijabulisene izolo, kanti nomakhwapheni babatholile oshokoledi nezimbali.