Ngokwesintu intombi iba nini ngumakoti?
Ukuqoma yikhona okuwumsusa wokuganana
KUBUKEKA luselude ukhalo maqondana nesinqumo sejaji leNkantolo eNkulu yaseSouth Gauteng, uMnu Ratha Mokgoathleng, ngodaba olufakwe enkantolo nguLerato Sengadi obeyisinqandamathe sikaJabulani "HHP" Tsambo.
ULerato ubefuna amalungelo njengenkosikazi kaHHP, kodwa umndeni ushaya phansi ngonyawo, uthi indlela yothando phakathi kwendodana yawo noLerato kayifinyelelanga ekubeni abe yinkosikazi. Enjalo nje uyishiyile indodana yawo, usebuya ngoba isithule.
Phela ngokwenqubo evame ukwenzeka emthethweni waleli zwe, isinqumo senkantolo enkulu sinikeza umhlahlandlela ngokunquma kwezinkantolo ngomuso emacaleni afuze lelo.
KwelangoMsombuluko sike sathinta kafushane ukuthi kusukela indlela yokuganana ngokwamasiko omdabu eNingizimu Afrika yamukeliwe ngokoMthetho 120 ka-1998, oqale ukusebenza mhla ka-15 kuLwezi (November) 1998, sibone sekuvela incazelo yokuthi uyini umshado wesintu.
Phakathi kokunye kokushiwo yilo mthetho, wukuthi ukuganana ngokwendabuko kumele kwenzeke ngokulandela isiko.
Lokhu kuba nezigaba eziningana ezingagcini ngokukhishwa kwelobolo, kodwa kuphelela ngokuba intombi leyo ikhishwe ngabazali kubo, iyiswe kubo kamyeni ngomgidi owaziwa ngokuthi wudwendwe ngesiZulu.
Nakwezinye izizwe zomdabu kuleli, kuthi makufane ukwenza njengoba lokhu kufakazelwa wumbiko ovele kwelinye iphephabhuku lesiNgisi, iMove, lapho uNthabiseng Monareng oyisazi samasiko abeTswana ethi: "Ilobolo lilodwa kalenzi kube wumshado.
"Kumele kukhishwe ilobolo futhi intombi inikelwe njengomfazi. Uma umyeni ekhipha ilobolo bese izithandani lezo zihlala ndawonye, umphumela walokhu wukukipita.
"Ngeshwa kubukeka sengathi umthetho wokwamukela ukuganana ngendlela yesintu uthi uma kwenzeke esinye sezigaba zokwendiselana, futhi kwaba nofakazi balokho ukuthi kwenzekile, lokho kusuke sekusho ukuthi labo bantu sebeganene ngokwesintu.
Ngeshwa, odabeni lukaLerato nomndeni kaHHP, sengathi ijaji libambe leyo ngxenye yomthetho lase likhipha isinqumo esivuna ummangali (Lerato).
Ngaphezu kwalokho, umndeni ubumi kwelithi ilobolo belinga-kapheleli, okwenze saba buthaka isisekelo somndeni sokuba achithwe uLerato kwakushoyo.
Sekuwumlando-ke ukuthi uLerato ubenganikwe qhaza kobekwenzeka ngomngcwabo kaHHP, nokuthi kamuva uphikelele endlini yalo mculi osekobandayo, eseRandburg, wafike washintsha izihluthulelo zayo, okuholele ekubeni ivaleleke ngaphandle indodana kaHHP.
Kubukeka kusekuningi okusazozwakala ngalolu daba njengoba embikweni we- newsletter i-ALL- 4 WOMEN yangomhla ka-5 kuLwezi, kuthiwa umndeni kaHHP uhlela ukusidlulisa isinqumo esithi uLerato ungumfazi wakhe ngokomshado wesintu, kwazise lokhu kuzokapakela nasendabeni yamafa alo mculi. ILANGA like lenza uphenyo kafushane ngokuthi empeleni intombi iqala nini ukubizwa ngomakoti kumbe ngomfazi.
Likhulume noMfu Muziwezigwili Nxumalo ongomunye wabantu asebeke bakhuluma kakhulu ngendaba yelobolo obale izigaba ezisemqoka - kungabaliwe konke lokhu okunye esikubona kwenzeka kule mihla.
Uthe kuqala ukwendiselana bekwenzeka kuphelele emuva kwezigaba ezimbalwa ezimqoka: ukuqoma, ukucela (ukukhonga) nokusina kodwendwe.
Oselotsholiwe kodwa udwendwe lungakasini, ubizwa ngengoduso. Okunye okwenzi- wayo njengombondo, ukwembesa ingoduso, yizibizo, ubikibiki, ukwaba, njalo njalo - kuwukungcwekisana nje obekungazivimbeli izithandani ukuba ziganane nxa kungenziwe.
USolwazi Themba Msimang, encwadini yakhe ethi "Kusadliwa Ngoludala" uyenaba ngalezo zinto nakuba engashongo ukuthi zaziyimpoqo.
Uma esezibala ezinye zalezo zigaba, kuyavela ukuthi okwenzekayo bekungafani ncamashi, kodwa bekuya nangesimo sezomnotho emindenini ethintekile noma ngesimo sentombi leyo eganiswayo.
Nazi ezinye zalezo zinto azibalayo uSolwazi Msimang, ezixhumene nokukhula komuntu aze angene esigabeni sokugana; kuqala kukho ukweshela noma ukuqomisa.
Ukuqoma-ke yikho okuyisisusa sakho konke-ke okumayelana nokuganana.
Emuva kwalokho kulandela lokhu: ukubonga indaba (intombi eqomile); ukucela nokukhonga; izibizo nelobolo; indlakudla yomkhongi; ukubonwa kwezinkomo; yindlakudla yomkhwenyana; wukukhehla; wumkhosi wabayeni; ukucimela; umncamo; udwendwe; wukuphuca; umbondo.
Isikhala kasenele lapha ukukuchaza konke ngakunye kuzona zonke lezi zigaba ezibalwe lapha, iningi lethu elizaziyo kumbe elike lizwe ngazo nakuba sekungasavamile ukuba zifezwe zonke. Ngokuzayo sizobheka ilobolo nomlando walo.
Umthetho wemukela ukuganana ngendlela yesintu uma zenzekile ezinye zezigaba esezibaliwe.