FIND­ING THE PER­FECT BAL­ANCE

WHEN SHE WAS PREG­NANT WITH HER FIRST CHILD, AMANDA ROGALY IM­PLE­MENTED TWO DE­CI­SIONS THAT WOULD IM­PACT DRA­MAT­I­CALLY ON THE REST OF HER LIFE. ONE: TO CLOSE DOWN HER COM­PANY, KADORO EVENTS AND COM­MU­NI­CA­TIONS, WHICH SHE HAD GROWN INTO A THRIV­ING BUSI­NESS AFTE

In Flight Magazine - - BITE THE BUG -

De­ci­sion one proved to be the eas­ier of the two. As Amanda re­calls: “I naively thought I could au­to­mat­i­cally slip from the role of run­ning my own busi­ness into the role of stay-at-home mom, where I was de­ter­mined to be the per­fect mother, wife and daugh­ter. I was not just go­ing to oc­cupy a role – I was go­ing to go the ex­tra mile and do it per­fectly!”

While the sen­ti­ment sounded good in the­ory,Amanda found her­self at an im­passe of her own cre­ation, feel­ing pulled in too many di­rec­tions while not be­ing able to please any­one, in­clud­ing her­self, in the process.

“I loved be­ing a new mom to my lit­tle girl, but deep down I knew I wasn’t be­ing true to my­self,” she ex­plains.“I was try­ing to be all things to ev­ery­one, which is an un­re­al­is­tic feat.”

THE JOUR­NEY

Torn between the guilt of want­ing to be the ideal mother and the need to ex­press her­self as a unique in­di­vid­ual, she found her­self ex­plor­ing what re­ally mat­tered to her.“I took up jog­ging and was sur­prised at how much I got out of it. It was my way to en­joy time out and think about my val­ues and how I wanted to im­ple­ment them, not just in my life but in a way that could pos­i­tively im­pact oth­ers too,” she says.

Writ­ing a blog gave her an out­let to share her ex­pe­ri­ences and feel­ings with other moms, and Amanda soon dis­cov­ered her pas­sion for in­spir­ing other women to look be­yond their pre­de­fined roles. It wasn’t long be­fore her orig­i­nal blog ex­panded into an in­ter­ac­tive com­mu­nity plat­form to sup­port other par­ents, fol­lowed by the cre­ation of the trusted par­ent­ing and life­style on­line por­tal called BabyYumYum. Amanda thrived as an in­spi­ra­tional speaker and writer, en­cour­ag­ing women like her­self to live their best lives.

THE PEACE BE­YOND BE­ING PER­FECT

“Women of­ten au­to­mat­i­cally de­fine them­selves ac­cord­ing to their var­i­ous roles. Not only can jug­gling these roles be chal­leng­ing, but over-iden­ti­fy­ing with them can cause us to lose sense of who we are, our dreams and our needs,” she re­marks.

This means al­low­ing oth­ers to see you as fal­li­ble and vul­ner­a­ble, rather than per­fect. While per­fec­tion may be the South­ern Cross to guide you on your jour­ney, it cer­tainly isn’t a re­al­is­tic goal.

“I re­alised that it wasn’t an ei­ther/or sit­u­a­tion where I had to choose between be­ing a (per­fect) mother or en­tre­pre­neur – or any other av­enue that can lead to self-ful­fil­ment. We’re go­ing to make mis­takes when it comes to moth­er­ing, re­la­tion­ships, work or learn­ing a new skill. But the fact that we are con­tin­u­ously evolv­ing and find­ing a way to be a bet­ter ver­sion of our­selves is what gives our lives mean­ing.

“Air­plane safety in­struc­tions ad­vise us put on our own oxy­gen masks be­fore help­ing any­one else with theirs. We need to be able to breathe first be­fore we can be of any use to oth­ers. We have to find out what makes us breathe, what brings mean­ing to our lives. Start by dis­cov­er­ing the ‘oxy­gen’ in your world that makes you come alive and brings you joy, be­fore try­ing to make a dif­fer­ence in some­one else’s life,” the BabyYumYum en­tre­pre­neur ad­vises.

“As moth­ers, there is no ques­tion­ing our love for or com­mit­ment to our kids.The flip side of this is that we of­ten find our­selves overex­tended be­cause we’re pre-pro­grammed to put ev­ery­one’s needs be­fore our own. At some point we took the word ‘yes’ to be sym­bolic of our com­mit­ment to moth­er­ing (per­fectly). We learnt to de­fine our­selves in re­la­tion to our kids, in­stead of remembering who we are as in­di­vid­u­als and sav­ing a lit­tle nur­tur­ing for our­selves,” Amanda ex­plains.

Get­ting com­fort­able with the word “no” is part of this self­nur­tur­ing jour­ney, and be­com­ing fa­mil­iar with the word “yes” when it comes to ac­tiv­i­ties, is a star ting point to get­ting in touch with our au­then­tic selves.

“And as for so-called per­fec­tion . . .The trick is not so much be­ing per­fect as it is to give one 100 % of your­self wher­ever you are – whether it’s be­ing a mom, run­ning a race or run­ning a com­pany,” Amanda con­cludes.

For more em­pow­er­ing in­for­ma­tion on par­ent­ing life­styles and rais­ing chil­dren, please visit www.babyyumyum.co.za.

Air­plane safety in­struc­tions ad­vise us put on our own oxy­gen masks be­fore help­ing any­one else with theirs. We need to be able to breathe first be­fore we can be of any use to oth­ers.

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