FINDING THE PERFECT BALANCE
WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH HER FIRST CHILD, AMANDA ROGALY IMPLEMENTED TWO DECISIONS THAT WOULD IMPACT DRAMATICALLY ON THE REST OF HER LIFE. ONE: TO CLOSE DOWN HER COMPANY, KADORO EVENTS AND COMMUNICATIONS, WHICH SHE HAD GROWN INTO A THRIVING BUSINESS AFTE
Decision one proved to be the easier of the two. As Amanda recalls: “I naively thought I could automatically slip from the role of running my own business into the role of stay-at-home mom, where I was determined to be the perfect mother, wife and daughter. I was not just going to occupy a role – I was going to go the extra mile and do it perfectly!”
While the sentiment sounded good in theory,Amanda found herself at an impasse of her own creation, feeling pulled in too many directions while not being able to please anyone, including herself, in the process.
“I loved being a new mom to my little girl, but deep down I knew I wasn’t being true to myself,” she explains.“I was trying to be all things to everyone, which is an unrealistic feat.”
THE JOURNEY
Torn between the guilt of wanting to be the ideal mother and the need to express herself as a unique individual, she found herself exploring what really mattered to her.“I took up jogging and was surprised at how much I got out of it. It was my way to enjoy time out and think about my values and how I wanted to implement them, not just in my life but in a way that could positively impact others too,” she says.
Writing a blog gave her an outlet to share her experiences and feelings with other moms, and Amanda soon discovered her passion for inspiring other women to look beyond their predefined roles. It wasn’t long before her original blog expanded into an interactive community platform to support other parents, followed by the creation of the trusted parenting and lifestyle online portal called BabyYumYum. Amanda thrived as an inspirational speaker and writer, encouraging women like herself to live their best lives.
THE PEACE BEYOND BEING PERFECT
“Women often automatically define themselves according to their various roles. Not only can juggling these roles be challenging, but over-identifying with them can cause us to lose sense of who we are, our dreams and our needs,” she remarks.
This means allowing others to see you as fallible and vulnerable, rather than perfect. While perfection may be the Southern Cross to guide you on your journey, it certainly isn’t a realistic goal.
“I realised that it wasn’t an either/or situation where I had to choose between being a (perfect) mother or entrepreneur – or any other avenue that can lead to self-fulfilment. We’re going to make mistakes when it comes to mothering, relationships, work or learning a new skill. But the fact that we are continuously evolving and finding a way to be a better version of ourselves is what gives our lives meaning.
“Airplane safety instructions advise us put on our own oxygen masks before helping anyone else with theirs. We need to be able to breathe first before we can be of any use to others. We have to find out what makes us breathe, what brings meaning to our lives. Start by discovering the ‘oxygen’ in your world that makes you come alive and brings you joy, before trying to make a difference in someone else’s life,” the BabyYumYum entrepreneur advises.
“As mothers, there is no questioning our love for or commitment to our kids.The flip side of this is that we often find ourselves overextended because we’re pre-programmed to put everyone’s needs before our own. At some point we took the word ‘yes’ to be symbolic of our commitment to mothering (perfectly). We learnt to define ourselves in relation to our kids, instead of remembering who we are as individuals and saving a little nurturing for ourselves,” Amanda explains.
Getting comfortable with the word “no” is part of this selfnurturing journey, and becoming familiar with the word “yes” when it comes to activities, is a star ting point to getting in touch with our authentic selves.
“And as for so-called perfection . . .The trick is not so much being perfect as it is to give one 100 % of yourself wherever you are – whether it’s being a mom, running a race or running a company,” Amanda concludes.
For more empowering information on parenting lifestyles and raising children, please visit www.babyyumyum.co.za.
Airplane safety instructions advise us put on our own oxygen masks before helping anyone else with theirs. We need to be able to breathe first before we can be of any use to others.