Akujulwe ngenzika yokuthathana kwababili
KUKHONA izinto zesintu ezishiwoyo kodwa kungenatshwa ngazo. Engifuna ukukhuluma ngakho namhlanje yindaba yomgcagco. Ngokwesintu, zintathu izinto ezisemqoka nezishiwoyo ngomgcagco: (i) umalokazane akuyena owakho owamakhehla, (ii) umalokazane ulandwe ngabadala, (iii) kufanele alotsholwe athelwe ngenyongo kuphambane izinhlangothi zezinkomo ukummiselela adondolozele aze abe yisalukazi lapha ekhaya. Ilokhu kokuthathu okwenza kuthiwe isehlukaniso asikho ngokwesintu.
Abantu abaningi namhlanje abashadile nabagcagcile (la magama womabili asho okungefani ‘ukushada’ ‘nokugcagca’ oshadile owenze ngesilungu saseNtshonalanga, esontweni, ogcagcile opheleliswe ngokwesintu, waqhoyiswa wathelwa ngenyongo), abasalali ndawonye ekameleni abanye sebeshiyene uzwe kuthiwa ubaba wasishiya usethole umamncane, kokunye bayahlukanisa, abanye sekwachitheka konke.
Inkinga enkulu yalokhu ukungaqondi nokungafuni ukujula ngenzika yokuthathana kwabantu ababili, okuthiwa uma bethathana abangabi zihlobo uma kukhona ubuhlobo kufanele kucelwe ngesilwane, nakhona uma lobo buhlobo busezingeni lo gogo. Ngamafuphi sichithwa yimfihlo yokuqonda ukuthandana kwababili kuze kuyofika sebenquma ukuthathana babe yindoda nomfazi.
Okulihlaya kulokhu ukuthi ngaphambi kokuthi ababili bathathane, basuke beqale ngokuthandana kwamnandi, kamuva kwayibona asebenquma ukuba ngumfazi nendoda bakhe umuzi, kungekho muntu bethatha leso sinqumo. Umbuzo bese uthi: “konakalaphi uma sekugcagciwe?” Impendulo imfihlo yokuthandana kwababili esifihlelwe yona izidalwa noNkulunkulu.
Ngizonikeza impendulo ngesengikubonile ngakwenza esigodlweni saseMlambomunye, nocwaningo esengiliphothula oluzogcina luphuma njengencwadi esihloko sithi Umsamo: Nomgcagco ngasekupheleni kwalo nyaka.
Cishe kunemindeni engaphezulu kuka50 esengiyisizile okunamhlanje okufanele ngabe sebahlukanisa ubaba nomama. Kusukela kwabakade sebelala ngokwehlukana, abanye sebeshiyene, abanye sebefake izehlukaniso, abanye sebehlukene uqobo lokwehlukana. Konke kungezizathu ezehlukene.
Ngizoqala ngababili namhlanje asebongomakhosi abagcine bethwasa eMlambomunye, abafika sekuyinkukhu nembodla ubaba nomama, okwathi uma kutholakala kwaba ukuthi umama kufanele amukele idlozi kade engafuni. Namhlanje imizi imile babambana ngezandla, umndeni wonke ufudumele.
Ziningi izimbangela zokuthi nithi senithathene bese kuchitheka: imvamisa abantu abaningi abaganayo bagana nezalukazi okuba esasekhabo mama kokunye kube esakubo, lapha kufanele kube khona ukuhlanjululwa bese kuhlanganiswa imimoya kokunye sigcine isalukazi samukeliwe naso emzini nomalokazane, okunye kube ukwembatha. Uma nembethe nobabili lokho kwembatha kwangalungiswa macala womabili kuba yinkinga.
Okunye kuba ukungaphelelisi amalobolo kube khona okusalayo okukhalelekayo, kumbe kukhona phakathi kwenu umama noma ubaba owakhuliswa okungeyena ubaba nomama wakhe, wase wangabongwa kodwa bakunike umendo, kamuva bahlakaze konke.
Okunye kube yisibongo komunye phakathi kwenu nobabili. Akusho ukuthi kube yisibongo sakho sikababa noma sikamama kodwa uma uhlehla ungena ugxila emsamo womunye uthole ukuthi kukhona lapho kwaphambana khona izinkulumo zesibongo. Okunye kube wumsindo, owaba khona komunye wenu nkathi efika emhlabeni. Ake sithi ubaba kababa wasekhaya kumbe kamama ngenkathi unina emkhulelwe kwaba khona ukuphikwa nomsindo othizeni lokho kuyathula kuyokuthi makhathaleni bese kuba yisithiyo sokuba nendlakadla emshadweni wenu nobabili.
Okokugcina ukugolozelana kwamadlozi lapho omunye engafuni ukwamukela idlozi nomsebenzi walo, njengomakhosi engikhulume ngabo, kulapho impela umshado uhambe namanzi njengomfula.
Kukhona-ke lapho ubaba engaziphathi kahle aze acasuke umama wekhaya, umbuzo uthi usuke ezenzelani na? Kusuke kukhona okukhalelekayo. Kunabamnumzane abenza izinto othi uma umama wekhaya ekubikela uthole ukuthi ziyanyantisa kanti usuke engazenzi yingoba kukhona okusuke kufanele kusukunyelwe kubhekwe. NgoMsombuluko ozayo ngoFebhuwari 12 ngizobe ngigubha iminyaka engu-35 ngagcagcelwa wuMaDuma kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi angizange ngadlula eziwombeni zokuthola ukuthi yini eyasihlanganisa, okuyiyona esasiphilisayo nanamhlanje. NANSI INDABA Ninobabili kusuka umsindo ekhaya, buzani konakelephi? Bhedlindaba (033) 5691317/ 0797471911/ 0728972001.