Secret Footballer

Overeating in the festive season can lead to problems

THE Christmas holidays are not always fun for players. Everyone else has a good time eating and drinking whatever they want and going out late, but you have to watch yourself. You get weighed before the holidays and fined if you come back overweight. You can have a few drinks, but let yourself go for one big night and you’ll end up in the news – and you don’t want the coach to see that. Most players enjoy seeing their families over this time, although there are always a few relatives who think Christmas is all about getting stuff from you. Your tracksuits and boots become family property – everything is claimed by relatives who don’t even go and watch you play. You’re the one making money from soccer so there is an expectation that you will fund the Christmas feast. There’s also always the one uncle who has a few drinks and starts to criticise your performances. He used to be a township star so now he thinks he is an expert on the modern game. The more he drinks the more critical he is. “Too much running, too little quality, there is no dribbling anymore, no entertainment. I used to watch Ace and Bizzah and Teenage so I know what I am talking about.” With respect to the older generation, you can’t compare the modern game to the walking football that was played in the 1970s and early ’80s – that was entertainment, but it wasn’t professional. Try and play the modern game with a paunch, and you’ll die. Talking of paunches, there’s always one player who comes back after New Year five kilos heavier. The coaching staff are not impressed and the player is immediately singled out for individual running exercises, much to the joy of his teammates. This is balanced out by the player who has obviously spent his entire holiday in the gym. The coaching staff ask why the rest of us don’t have his dedication and commitment. We all plan to kick him in training for showing us up. The January transfer window is also open and the club’s star player is on the radar of a few of the bigger clubs. His agent hovers around training a lot more, always on his phone a lot. The player won’t say anything, but you can see he is enjoying the attention. So you make him aware that you are still around – you get a chance to tackle him hard and you take it. He is your teammate today, but he could be your opponent next week. There are also rumours about your team bringing in new players. The first thing you do is look at what positions these players play – if there is someone in your position, you make a mental note to do that little bit extra at training. The start of the new year is also the time for new boots. Your sponsor has dropped off a few pairs for you and even though you’ve been playing the game for years, you still get that excitement that little kids get when they get a new toy. These are your weapons of war! Not everyone has new boots though, and one or two of the players hand out spare pairs to some of the younger players. A few of the players bring their new gadgets to training – phones, iPods, iPads, watches – all the toys of the professional sportsman. Each player gives his expert verdict, and you have to keep up with the rest of the dressing room – if you don’t, then you make yourself a target for abuse. You don’t want to be the player with the old phone or the 2010 iPad. This is a competitive sport!

You don’t want to be the player with the old phone or the 2010 iPad.