This SUV has heritage, poise, personality and performance

for a minimum of three years before entertaining the notion of changing wheels. This means every new entry into the market must fulfil future value needs as well.

Alfa has always manufactured beautifully styled cars that through the ages drip with sex appeal and fiery (if unreliable) personalities. In the new era of motoring, consistency, future value, financial flexibility and maintenance plans have become the new directives of the consumer.

A mate of mine owns a few sleazy bars and collects Italian artefacts; among his cave of hidden treasures lurk a few Ferraris and Alfas. I visited him with the Stelvio, and now he is ordering the “fast” version when it arrives. I perused his Alfa Romeo 8C and his prized GTV, and one thing that glared at me was how polished and wellfinished this new Stelvio is. Nothing rattled and felt badly assembled, though Italian engineering is based on passion, not necessarily practicality. The Stelvio defies all this and yet maintains the traditional exquisiteness of the brand.

“Luigi” and I parted ways after a chestbursting expresso and we took off from the affluent Jo’burg suburb to go hunt some corners.

The Stelvio forces a sense of 1930s Al Capone gangsterism on you. I don’t know whether it’s the orgasmic steering wheel or the hooded dials, perhaps it’s the black-onblood-red displays, but the SUV feels quick, and that’s where its appeal lies. There is no mistaking the Stelvio’s heritage and in some ways I can appreciate Luigi’s obsession with these art objects, because make no mistake — you are buying a work of art. It may not saunter along with the price tag of Ferrari, and although it may not be assembled by hand, it still feels unique and full of charisma.

The Q4’s all-wheel drive system rests in rear wheel stance until it detects loss of traction, then the system applies power to the front and keeps you out of the panel shop. This style of traction is invigorating when driven hard. The suspension features rear multi-link aluminium and double wishbones in the front; this is borrowed from the Giulia, but obviously the higher stance of the Stelvio requires some changes, like stiffening to counteract the ride height.

Weighing almost 1.7-tonnes and powered by a two-litre turbo power-plant, the SUV produces an interesting blend of classical exhaust notes infused with catalytic inhibitors. I liked the rumbles that escaped from the back end under hard acceleration and although the upshifts could do with some louder noises, it’s a car not a bike, so let’s allow it the accolades for having a distinct personality.

The Stelvio’s engine revs flamboyantly to its limiter and holds its character with the composed stature of the thoroughbred it is meant to represent. It scrabbles past the 100km/h mark in about five-and-a-half seconds and keeps going till about 229km/h on the GPS, not bad at all for this SUV. It’s stable at these speeds, which is probably more important than anything on our less than favourable roads.

The scimitar-like paddle shifts attach to the driving column, not the steering wheel, and although they are as long as a dragon’s tooth, they’re not easy to downshift in those awkward moments when you desire a lower gear. It looks and feels divine and this is an Alfa, so enjoy the finesse and