Men's Health (South Africa) - - RELATIONSHIPS -

You have sex 10 times a year or less, or she doesn’t or­gasm.

Been awhile? You may blame stress, fa­tigue, or low T. But she may think it’s her, says Pro­fes­sor Ali­cia Walker, who talked with 46 cheat­ing women for her book Se­cret Life of the Cheat­ing Wife. Pick a neu­tral (clothed) mo­ment to tell her why you’re avoid­ing sex. It’ll bring you closer and you can seek so­lu­tions to­gether. In bed, be sure to fo­cus on her plea­sure as much as yours.

She shoul­ders more of the house­hold du­ties than you do.

Many women told Walker they felt stuck in the wife role – nur­turer, care­taker, house­hold man­ager. With their lovers, they felt free to be self-fo­cused. Don’t ask if she needs help; just help. And ask what she wants in bed. Cheat­ing wives seem to be ex­plicit with their lovers but not their hus­bands. Ask how much sex she prefers, what she’d like more of, and what new thing to try.

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