I cheated on my wife, a onenight stand. Do I tell her? Rich, Umhlanga
Why would you want to? We’re not being flippant here – your answer helps decide this. If you want to relieve your guilt, then no, probably not, says psychologist Les Parrott. Confess to a confidant or therapist. Then ask yourself why you cheated. Were you feeling sexually neglected or frustrated? Trying to get back at your wife? Whether you confess or not, share those feelings with her. Say, “I want our relationship to be the best it can be and to know how I can be a better husband.” That gives her an on-ramp to share anything, and she’ll be more open to hearing you out. Now, if you think you might cheat again, or your partner’s health is at risk, or she could find out – then confess. Say, “I need to tell you something that’s going to be painful. I want to preface it by saying that I love you but I made a mistake.” Brace yourself. It will cause her pain. But it may also lead to healthy growth in your relationship.