Men's Health (South Africa) - - THE EXCHANGE -

I cheated on my wife, a onenight stand. Do I tell her? Rich, Umh­langa

Why would you want to? We’re not be­ing flip­pant here – your an­swer helps de­cide this. If you want to re­lieve your guilt, then no, prob­a­bly not, says psy­chol­o­gist Les Par­rott. Con­fess to a con­fi­dant or ther­a­pist. Then ask your­self why you cheated. Were you feel­ing sex­u­ally ne­glected or frus­trated? Try­ing to get back at your wife? Whether you con­fess or not, share those feel­ings with her. Say, “I want our re­la­tion­ship to be the best it can be and to know how I can be a bet­ter hus­band.” That gives her an on-ramp to share any­thing, and she’ll be more open to hear­ing you out. Now, if you think you might cheat again, or your part­ner’s health is at risk, or she could find out – then con­fess. Say, “I need to tell you some­thing that’s go­ing to be painful. I want to pref­ace it by say­ing that I love you but I made a mis­take.” Brace your­self. It will cause her pain. But it may also lead to healthy growth in your re­la­tion­ship.


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