I want to hug my wife without messing my shirt
THE letter in POST February 22-26, 2012) “Removal of the sindoor” is interesting and would generate considerable discussion.
I am certain readers may want to make their mark. In order not to cross or part any paths, I would like to propose that the following points be debated:
1. Traditionally, the sindoor, represents a symbol of “sacred matrimony” and is worn by most married Indian women in various ways. Some wear the sindoor in a rather prominent or pronounced way, while other women elect to apply merely a small dot of sindoor on their hair to respect their marriage. Whatever, choice must be respected, but, should those women who elect not to wear the sindoor because of the humidity and profuse sweating in Durban be ostracised by what is deemed a “religious obligation”? In my view, I would say definitely not, as our climatic conditions do not make such displays pragmatic, nor is marriage a display of how much sindoor one applies to her hair.
2. I know of many conservative Indian families who strictly prohibit their daughtersin-law or daughters (whose husbands have either divorced or passed away) from removing the sindoor. In such cases, these gentle women are kept in bondage and prevented from marrying again or having any relationship, making it a sin for them to even consider another relationship.
3. My question is: Are these rules applicable today, or are they merely man-made rules? To once again keep women subjugated and subservient? In our modern world, divorce is on the increase and death inevitable. Why should women be victimised because of some outdated belief systems, while the same rule does not apply to Indian men who must be constantly mothered, nurtured, and are hastily rushed into marriage or coerced by some family members?
3. While we respect our religion and rich culture, should we be constrained by what appears to be incorrigibly applied under the guise of religious practices? These are in fact belief systems. Freedom of choice should be exercised by women in a manner that does not cause impediments to their well-being, identity, and self-concept in a changing world that does not violate their rights in the process.
I want to hug my wife before I leave her at work and also when I fetch her from work. I do not want to mess up my expensive shirt with “sindoor” paste, but rather to appreciate the divinity, beauty, and sacredness of our marriage and belief in each other!
ASHWIN KUARAJIT SINGH
Durban