53 years of her great, loving support
HAPPY wife, happy life.
This is the motto Jeeva Pather has attributed to 53 years of a successful marriage to Adilutchmee Mano Pather.
The Kharawastan couple, who did not want to divulge their ages, fell in love while working at clothing factories in 1955.
“I was working at Ninian and Lester and Mano worked at Natal Underwear. Our factories were in close proximity and we often crossed paths. I fell in love with her long black hair, which was pin straight. She had the most beautiful smile and I knew I wanted her to be my wife,” said Pather.
His wife described him as “very good looking”.
“He was always neatly attired and had pleasant mannerisms. I was over the moon when he asked me to be his wife,” said Mano.
The couple courted for six years and tied the knot at the St Aidan’s Hall in Durban on November 19, 1961.
About 400 guests attended and were treated to a variety of vegetarian dishes.
The Pathers had a traditional South Indian ceremony.
“The first part of the ceremony was in colour and the second part was only in white. The second part was dedicated to Lord Ganesha, the remover of all obstacles,” said Pather.
Their first child Kogie (now 51 and a service desk agent based in Cape Town) was born two years later.
Their other offspring are: Rajendren, 49; and Magan, 43, both paramedics for Emergency Medical Rescue Services.
They have four grandchildren and are looking forward to the birth of a great-grandchild.
While Mano quit work after marriage, Pather worked at The Bear Group in Durban and retired as a despatch manager in 1999.
He worked for the company for over 40 years. In their retirement, they enjoy keeping their culture alive.
Pather loves traditional South Indian music and used to sing and play the cymbals in his heyday. He is part of the Sri Lankan Tamil Movement and a member of the World Saivite Council and the International Movement for Tamil Culture.
Mano enjoys cooking, spending time with her grandchildren and watching South Indian films.
When asked what kept them together, Pather said it was his wife’s ability to support him.
To ring in their Golden Anniversary, they held a party at the Tudor Conference Centre in Chatsworth.
About 200 people attended and were treated to a variety of meals.
They believe God has kept them in good health thus far and sustained their marriage. They advise younger couples to always seek God. DID you celebrate your Golden Anniversary and would like to share your story with our readers?
If so, e-mail: jolene.marriah@inl.co.za DEAR RAKHI MY WIFE recently acquired an annoying habit of having a glass of wine in the afternoons.
Neither of us drink, so her recent adoption of this behaviour really irks me.
She says it helps her relax after a long, stressful day at work, while cooking, sorting out the children's homework and attending to other household chores. This is leading to constant arguments.
My father was an alcoholic and when I see her drink, I am reminded of how horrible my childhood was with my father drinking. How do I get her to stop this behaviour? When I speak to her, she accuses me of trying to control her.
This is not the case. I just want her to stop drinking because it's bad for her. IT IS OBVIOUS your wife's drinking is causing much distress to you, and thereby impacting on your marriage.
It is probable that she drinks to help her unwind after a stressful day.
The way you address the issue is critical. Asking her to stop something may come across as being controlling.
As an adult, she does have the right to make such choices.
However, if these choices are detrimental to her or the marriage, then be sure to highlight these points when discussing the matter. Be careful not to criticise her, but rather to explain logically what it is about the drinking that upsets you.
As you mention, your childhood was unhappy because of your father's drinking.
Consider whether you may be expressing the anger you felt towards your father on your wife.