Don’t demean widows

THIS letter is a response to the letter headed “Priest who doesn’t care” ( POST, July 9-13, 2014). I recall making a similar complaint in POST many years ago and it is deeply hurtful, demeaning and callous that some priests continue to hurt widows at religious ceremonies and Hindu weddings. As Hindus we must reject this so-called tradition demanded by some of our priests. I also urge Hindu bodies like the South African Hindu Maha Sabha, Tamil Federation, Andra Maha Sabha of South Africa and other learned scholars to give their views on the matter. It has become extremely urgent that there must be an established common ruling rejecting some of the painful and foolhardy traditions that are widely practised among many in the Hindu community. Allow me to express my views on the degree and depth of the bereavement that a women experiences upon the death of her husband. A widow is a widow and she has not asked to become a widow. She suffers pain, emptiness, deep sorrow and every conceiveable hurtful and painful emotion imaginable. Is there any priest who can dispute this indisputable fact? But these self-proclaimed experts will stonily bark at hurdees, nelangus, wedding ceremonies and prayer functions . . . “NO WIDOWS”. Why should the unfortunate widows be made outcasts at a happy moment in their lives? It is a joyful day for any mom, who is a widow. So when one of her children is getting married, why must priests spoil the occasion when performing rituals? Obviously her (the widow’s) thoughts will be with her late husband and the father of the bride or bridegroom who is about to tie the knot.