Smartphones between the sheets

NEW DELHI: Is sending “kisses” on WhatsApp or posting intense love emojis on Facebook to your spouse replacing the real act between the sheets?

It would seem so, according to leading experts on sex and behavioural sciences.

According to them, many young working couples in India are getting hooked on smartphones and tablets, even in the bedroom, which is paralysing their sex lives.

Digital intimacy, it would seem, has diluted the physical connection between sexually active partners.

“There has been a sudden surge in young couples, especially working professionals, who come to me for consultations after facing weak sexual desire owing to social media addiction that gobbles up night hours,” says Dr Prakash Kothari, a leading sexologist based in Mumbai.

Kothari told IANS that he was currently counselling 20 young couples “who blame late-night social media snacking for their low sex drive”. Kothari is the founder professor of the departments of sexual medicine at KEM Hospital and Seth GS Medical College.

“Carrying work home and continuous use of smartphones while you are with your partner hinders communication and relationships,” says Samir Parikh, director of mental health and behavioural sciences at Fortis Hospital, New Delhi.

He says that for a healthy sexual relationship, a couple needs to spend more time together “where there is a feeling of undivided attention, sharing and togetherness”.

According to Kothari, the sexual process has four components: desire, sexual grounding (how one perceives the stimuli), arousal (whether it leads to lubrication) and finally, orgasm.

“So foreplay, emotional touch, fondling and intense feelings count as much as a physical stimulant. With smartphones in the bedroom, the emotional togetherness that initiates sex is gone,” he says.

Sex between married people is not simply a matter of getting the mechanics right. The emotional interaction is paramount.

“With gadgets intruding into our lives, sexual grounding is being affected, but not the desire,” he says.

Dr Jyoti Kapoor Madaan, senior consultant in psychiatry at Paras Hospitals in Gurgaon, noted that there was an upsurge of young professionals with low sex drive, but they did not always attribute it to the use of smartphones or other gadgets.

“Most people are not even aware that excessive use of social media is causing problems in their relationships,” says Kothari. “It is simple. When there is a third person in the bedroom, a couple will not get into the mood. A smartphone is that third person.” – IANS