The power of love – and compromise …
Overport couple Harripersadh and Chintamoni Maharaj celebrated 65 years of marriage in May and Harripersadh is looking forward to his 62nd Father’s Day on Sunday. JOLENE MARRIAH tags along for a ride down memory lane and gets useful advice.
HARRIPERSADH, 90, a retired teacher, and Chintamoni, 83, had an arranged marriage. Theywere married on May 7, 1950 at Chintamoni’s family home in Umgeni Road, Durban.
According to Harripersadh, in those days there were no wedding invitations. “Anyone was invited to partake in celebrations. Everyone who was anyone was welcome to feast on the dhall curry, vegetable curries and not forgetting the soji.”
The couple have four sons – Ramesh, 62, Naresh, 60, Suresh, 58, and Vinesh, 54, all businessmen – and four grandchildren.
“We are waiting for great-grandchildren,” laughed Harripersadh.
The nonagenarian retired from Collegevale Primary School in Overport in 1985. His wife kept the home fires burning.
What attracted you to each other?
Harripersadh: I still recall the first day I met my wife. My parents and I went to her home. She was so friendly and easy-going. We hit it off immediately.
Chintamoni: He was intelligent and friendly.
What is your advice for sustaining a long and happy marriage?
Harripersadh: Don’t be an extremist. Just go with the flow. And love each other.
Chintamoni: Take the ups and downs and move forward. Don’t take anything to heart. Compromise.
What was it like being a father to four sons as they were growing up?
Harripersadh: I was a teacher, so I understood kids. For me, education was imperative for the boys.
I always sat after school with them and help them study, even though I had my own work to do. Teachers’ jobs didn’t end at 3pm. The boys had their own friends. It was very much a culture of playing with the neighbours on the road and so forth, but we always had supper together every evening.
It was a good way to bond with the kids.
We played the occasional game of cricket. But back then we had no car, so we had to use the bus to go anywhere. We tried going to the beach when we could, but we spent lots of time at home.
What advice did you instill in your sons?
Harripersadh: All the boys are married. I always told them that honesty would get them far and advised them to look after their wives and children.
Don’t get into bad company, I would say, and study hard.
No one can take education away from you. In those days many Indian families sacrificed land in exchange for an education. My boys were raised in this manner. How do you spend your time? Chintamoni: We love reading. Uncle enjoys reading newspapers and books. He is very concerned about the political and economic situation in the country at the moment, while I enjoy reading religious books and watching Zee TV. We have also travelled extensively through India.
How did you celebrate your 65th anniversary?
Chintamoni: A lunch at home. We had a party for our 60th. Your plans for Father’s Day? Harripersadh: The children will generally visit and bring presents, usually clothing, and we spend the day together. One of my sons lives in Cape Town.