Intervention is needed to break the endless cycle of violence

CHILDREN who experience physical violence are more likely to abuse their own children, resulting in a vicious and endless cycle of violence, says the director of Phoenix Child and Welfare Society, Aroona Chetty.

“The effects of physical abuse and punishment can continue into adulthood so it is imperative a child receives immediate counselling,” she advised.

“If they were beaten as children, it is not uncommon for the child, when he or she grows up, to beat his or her child. This is why education is so important. Children need immediate therapy if they are abused so they are not made to think it is normal behaviour.”

She said it was also important for the community to be proactive in making sure abuse does not take place in their neighbourhoods.

“If a child screams in a certain way, you can tell that child is in trouble. Do not ignore it. Call the police or go over and find out what’s going on.”

After-school centres are important, according to Chetty, who added that the Phoenix Child Welfare had opened centres in Clayhaven and Highstone but are looking to open more.

Children who are at risk of abuse can go there, where they are fed and cared for.

The welfare is seeking funding for two purpose-built homes that will accommodate children at risk in Phoenix.

Two cottages stand tall in Triplen Circle in Lenham, one already complete and another is almost ready.

Chetty said the are looking for items, including cutlery, crockery, curtaining and bedding.

Women and child abuse therapist Annie Varaden said children need to find someone to talk to, especially those who feel there is no way out.

She agreed that cases of child abuse are escalating and said parents, caregivers and the community need to pay attention to the silent calls for help.

For Varaden, signs differ from child to child but it was important to look out for key indicators.

“There is no specific patterns you can look out for. Every child is different according to their surroundings and personalities. They can either internalise their emotions or externalise it.”

Varaden has been working with abuse victims for the past 20 years.

She has worked at Childline and the Phoenix Child Welfare Society and is now a therapist at the Sahara Women’s Shelter.

She said every parent must know their own child.

“Know their personality, their sleeping and eating patterns. One of the first things is change in behaviour. They become quiet, alone and don’t want to go out. But they can also become extremely angry and rebellious.”

The typical signs in children under six, she says, are mostly psychosomatic.

“These are normally bodily symptoms like headaches, enuresis (bed wetting), soiling either day or night. They lose all sense of control and the body shows it.”

She adds some children scar themselves, pull out their hair, suffer from loss of appetite and can become clingy to the person they trust the most.

“With very young children, it is regression with development.”

Middle-aged children often shows signs academically.

“This is a normal indicator. Their school work either begins to drop or they become a perfectionist. Each child is so different.”

Cutting is also common at that age group.

“They will cut themselves or even talk about death because the pain is more bearable than what their uncle or daddy did to them.”

Sometimes they become sexualised. “This child will want to do the same things to other children. When parents or teachers see that they need to look deeper.”

She said itching and pain when urinating must be looked at as a cause for concern.

“Discharge and blood on the underwear as well. If you suspect something, supervise your child, think about who could be doing this.

“Know everything about your child. Talk to them about what is okay and what is not okay, what is appropriate and not appropriate.

“Even the mouth should be labelled as a private part. Educate them but don’t instil fear in them. Tell them not to keep secrets. Even use movies as an example to educate.”

She said at the age of three to four (depending on development) was a good time to start talking to your children about labelling body parts and the concept of abuse.