No kissing kids on lips, cheeks

IT HAS been a long-lasting tradition in the Indian community for children to kiss close relatives on the lips during family functions or home visits, but since the recent hike in child abuse cases, mothers say this tradition should change.

Bluff mother of two, Swastika Sirohi, said she had taken a firm decision against relatives kissing her children and wanted to adopt alternatives to greeting.

“I don’t agree with relatives kissing children on the lips and I will certainly not allow my children to do this. Even kissing relatives on the cheeks is a no-no.”

The 38-year-old said children sitting on the laps of uncles and aunties must also be re-considered.

“When you look at most of these sexual abuse cases, it is often a person known to the child or the family, usually a relative.

“So as parents we need to re-examine how we allow our children to interact with people. In the Indian community, respect is a very big thing, so I have thought about other ways my children can greet adults.”

Sirohi is a mother to two girls both under a year old and suggests hugs being the best option.

“Hugs are fine. My husband is from India, so I want to adopt the Indian tradition of touching the feet, which is significant of respect.”

Sirohi who co-owns a metal export company with her husband, said it was also important for parents to think carefully about who they leave their child with and who they allow to bath and accompany their child to the toilet.

“I was a full-time working mother and if I were still working, I’d rather take unpaid leave than leave my children with just anyone.

“If my kids are not with me, they are with my mother and my motherin-law. When it comes to toilet visits, I’d never allow them to go alone to the toilet. Those are the easiest targets.”

Staying over at friend’s homes was also a non-discussion for Sirohi. “They will be allowed to go in the morning and return later in the day.”

A Groutville mother of a 12 and 4-year-old daughters said she allowed her children to kiss family members on the cheek and not the mouth.

“It depends on the situation and who it is but my children have been well educated and know not to kiss on the lips.”

Jennifer Yenketsamy says she considers herself to be a paranoid mom and was guilty of being a “worrywart”.

She said she had taken steps to ensure she was always aware of where her children were and that apart from her husband, the only two people she trusted with her children were her mother and neighbour.

Yenketsamy added that a good age to educate children about people touching them inappropriately would be three or four.

The stay-at-home mother said the KZN north coast was riddled with rape and child abuse, which increased her state of paranoia.

“Just recently two primary school boys allegedly raped a 5-year-old child. They staged a protest and took her into the bush.”

Single parent Yvonne Sadasivan, 38, of oThongathi, said kissing relatives was a tradition in her family but definitely not on the lips.

“I don’t mind the tradition of kissing relatives, who you have not seen in a while but definitely not on the lips. In this day and age, you really can’t trust anyone.”