MOST IMPORTANTLY…

BECAUSE many incidents of bullying are covert, you often will not have proof. Speak to someone you trust about each incident (while still documenting).

People with malicious intent cannot be reasoned with, so confronting them may worsen the situation.

Do not attempt to get back at the bully for the harm they have caused you – it means getting caught up in their game. You need to exit the game because you will never win.

When the bullying has involved spreading malicious gossip about you, it’s natural to want to defend yourself. What’s most important is that YOU know who you are and so do your loved ones.

The truth is that some people are going to believe the bully and there’s nothing you can do about it.

What you can do is continue to live your life according to your morals and values, and those who are important will see you for what you are.

Remember, the bully’s aim is to weaken you, so as hard as it is, focus on your work so that no one believes what the bully may try to prove about you anyway.

As much as their actions and intentions may upset you, do not spend your time talking about and thinking about them because it makes them more powerful and important. Spend your time on the things most important to you – for example, your health, family, etc.

When we cannot change the environment, we have to consider whether a different environment will be healthier for us. Do not think that this means allowing the bully to win because it’s not a competition. You have to make the decision that’s best for your health and peace of mind.

Try to distance yourself from the bully and, if you can’t physically distance yourself, it’s certainly possible to distance yourself emotionally. Here’s how: if you have to be around the bully, imagine that you are writing a book on bullies and whenever you are in the bully’s presence, continually run a commentary in your head about the behaviour of bullies, what their life must be like if they spend so much time trying to make others’ lives miserable, what insecurities they have, their mannerisms, techniques, etc. It might amuse you and also lead you to pity them

You cannot change other people, but you can choose what’s important in your life and put more energy into that. So choose to focus on what’s truly important in your life and that’s where your rewards will come from.