‘He beat me and told me I was his bad luck’

Violence against women is a growing problem

TWO weeks ago, a Durban mother sustained a bloodied head, after she was “punched and booted” by her aggressive partner.

“He had been to the casino and had spent all his money, which frustrated him. He hit me and I struck my head on the corner of the door before I fell. I had to hold the wound with my hand,” she said.

“He continued punching and booting me even as I climbed onto the bed to get to my baby. After that, he locked us in the house for a week. I had no phone to call for help, while he went to work as usual.

“But one day, I took a screwdriver, unhinged the door and ran to the neighbour for help. This was the worst by far.”

The woman, 24, has been with the father of her now one-year-old child for five years. Asked why she remained in the relationship, she described a set of complex circumstances.

“After we had our daughter, he insisted that I stay at home and take care of our baby, while he handled everything. And he did. He is a good provider, but he always threw this back in my face.

“Things would get really bad after he spent the household money at the casino. He would beat me and tell me I was his bad luck and the reason for his troubles. But he wouldn’t let me go back to work.”

Explaining where it all started, she said he had slapped her six months into their relationship. She said she considered leaving him but loved him and thought he would change.

“Then, after the baby was born, I kept going back because I grew up without a dad and I didn’t want the same for my baby. But this time (the recent assault), it was really bad.”

The woman, now staying at a home for women and children in distress, said that to stand on her feet, she had been looking for a job.

“I’m also telling my story because I want women to know there is a way out, and that there are people who can help. I want them to keep their independence (by working). We are nobody’s punching bag.

“I hope that (abusive) men who read

this, will get help for their anger. You don’t have the right to do this to another human-being.”

WHAT THE STATS SAY – AND DON’T SAY: