‘Our focus is on getting justice’
FAMILIES who have lost loved ones as a result of crime, have, said it was not easy to open up to psychologists to help them deal with their grief but, for one mom, it benefited her until she had to move on.
Natasha Naidoo’s brother Donovan Naicker was allegedly struck with bricks, by a group of men who are currently on trial for his murder.
She said, for three months, she did not leave her home as she did not want to face the world without her sibling.
“My family and I did not know how to go on without him and, although time continues to tick, we are not moving forward. Our mother is existing because she has no other option. For me, Donovan was my heart outside of my body. I’m heartbroken. I’m not the person I used to be. To be honest, we haven’t had a chance to mourn. Soon after his death, court proceedings started and the trial is under way. Our focus is on getting justice, but it seems as if justice will never happen.”
She said they had a close-knit family and supportive friends, and had never considered seeking outside help to deal with the traumatic and emotional scars of losing a brother to a violent crime.
“For many Indian families, counselling is considered taboo. How would a counsellor know what I am feeling and what can he do?” she asked.
“Going to a counsellor gives the impression you have a mental condition when you are, in fact, going through an emotional issue. Lots of people have told me to consult a counsellor or a psychologist but that is not something I have considered. I would rather deal with what has happened on my own.”
Rani Naidoo said opting to consult with a psychologist was a personal decision and it had benefited her for a while.
Her son, Shane, was shot and killed in Demat, in January, and there have been no arrests since.
“He was my only child. It has been difficult. The Lord has given us the strength to move on and we have the support of family and friends.”
Naidoo, of Savannah Park, in Pinetown, said she decided to take the offer her workplace provided to seek outside counselling.
“A week after my son’s death, I called the psychologist and made an appointment to see her. The first consult was an hour. She spoke to us on how we felt and on how we were coping. She also asked us about the murder to get us to open up and express ourselves.”
Naidoo said the consult, and a subsequent one, had benefited her for a while “but I had to move on”.
She said she focused on her career and that her work had kept her occupied.