Death during the times of Covid
THAT the world, as we know it, fundamentally changed with Covid, is not seriously debatable. It was often said in jest between relatives and friends, that they found time to see one another only at weddings and funerals. Now, with grandiose weddings being cancelled, leaving potential brides to remain for a little while longer as single Miss Havishams, it is the funerary rites that have most been affected.
In the past 18 months, many of us have been inundated with the live-streaming of Covid funerals. I’m a tad unsure of whether this doesn’t leave a space open for a wound that doesn’t heal. One of the “wonderful” things about cremation, and I say this in inverted commas, obviously, is that it has a certain finality about it, some sense of closure. It is from a Hindu perspective that I espouse.
The filming of the funerary rituals might give external parties a chance to pay their respects to the departed, but it becomes a little unnecessarily voyeuristic. The bigger challenge with this approach is that it might create some latitude for keeping the pain fresh, an always bleeding wound.
To capture the end moments of a loved one on celluloid for posterity is something I find difficult to accept. Yes, legacies must be left, but I would rather it not be through the fulcrum of one’s last rites. I mean no disrespect to anyone on this, if they feel differently. With a Covid funeral, the coffin is sealed, I know, but there’s that niggle in my head, that it’s neither here nor there, having this filmed and shown to all, maintaining the attachment to the body.
If a bequest must remain, this should be in the memories one has left in the minds of others, whether good or bad, happy or sad, complimentary or resentful. The idea that the face of the deceased is left to view until perpetuity does not settle well in my mind, if it is an unsealed coffin. Perhaps, it is something to consider, that if funerals must be live-streamed, that same be erased soon after.
How do we console those who remain with the loss of a loved one due to Covid, especially of one who was young? While I wish to write in a secular manner, it’s difficult not to be influenced by my “Hinduness”. I’ve studied the phenomenon of death with varying approaches, tried out past-life regression, hypnosis, and had intense philosophical discussions with saints (and sinners).
Within these parleys, I’ve tried to decipher the funerary rituals as well. Why do we guide the soul to the higher planes in those first 13 days? It is said that during the period, as the soul adjusts to its new shroud, its inner garment (a form of ectoplasm) remains Earthbound, which, in itself, will unravel.
Scientifically, it has been found that this inner garment weighs about 7g. It has the qualities of wind, temperature, and other, less substantial physical layers. During the 13 days, the soul releases its karmic bonds, the “sankalpa”, but will feel attachment. However, death in itself, does not end love and attachment.
For most people, the biggest question is about whether they would ever meet their loved ones on the other side. I am convinced of the existence of the spirit beyond just the body, which maintains the “silver cord” with loved ones. They can and do provide comfort from the “other side”. Is there such a thing such as Soul Groups, where we are born with the same spiritual beings, time and again, to learn our lessons together, or is this simply a nice, convenient concept to make us feel better?
I have read many books on the afterlife, some bizarrely superstitious, some objective, some based on a Western approach; for example, the books by eminent American psychiatrist, Brian Weiss. His book Only Love Is Real was excellent and astounding. He had qualified magna cum laude from a celebrated university, so he can’t be judged to be a quack. At the same time, having read a bit of the Garuda Purana, which chronicles the so-called journey of the soul after death, my intellect does not allow me to accept it as being authentic. It invites more trauma to the bereaved.
There are aspects from other books on Hinduism that I am more inclined to accept. I am given to understand that there is a period of rest between lives, when the soul is in a plane called “Pitra Lokh”, or the Realm of the Fathers. There are, of course, the very exalted ones who go straight to the higher planes, but they hold a substantial number of “siddhis” or divine abilities.
If I can draw a parallel, and I mean this in the most respectful way, between the Eastern faiths like Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism, Sikhism and that of the Abrahamic Faiths, perhaps “Pitra Lokh” can be compared to heaven. Whether this destination is temporary or final, I can only ascertain upon my own death.
Hindus would have seen that when a loved one dies, a certain number of “pindas” are used in the rituals, representing our ancestors. The concept inherent in Hinduism is that the soul goes into rest in “Pitra Lokh” for 300 equivalent Earth years. Hence, the names of ancestors going back three generations from the departed are named during the ritual, as it is said that the ancestral spirits descend from this realm to guide the newly-departed soul through its journey into “Pitra Lokh”. Attachment to the living can be felt, and the previously departed souls provide that comfort and guidance to the deceased’s soul during the transition.
It does not mean that if we don’t sound out their names during the various rituals as guided by our revered “pundits”, that these “angels” will not descend to assist the deceased. It will happen. But, as with all prayers and rituals, it is about honouring our heritage and our forefathers. This is our way of thanking them for their love and support.
This is a horrible, painful time for every one of us. We have all lost someone we know to Covid. As humans upon this Earth, we are all experiencing a global karmic debt that is being paid in the most awful way. I cannot give an answer about why. It just is. Perhaps this can be fought out, or reasoned, with God, in the Hereafter?
It’s all a matter of faith, which requires the tangible acceptance of an ultimate creative force even in the absence of proof. It isn’t easy. But, as one delves deeper into the spiritual realm, one’s experiences also take one closer to the very centrum of the One Absolute Truth. There simply has to be a divine plan. What that plan is, even those who know and understand, cannot impart to the rest of us, due to our current spiritual limitations.
Rest assured, though, that you will meet your loved ones again.