Listen to your child
Warning signs:
Changes in behaviour: Your child will become elusive or withdrawn. The activities that they once enjoyed are no longer appealing.
Emotional outbursts: This could be crying (more often), or even having a meltdown. Sometimes, when children keep things bottled up, they eventually snap. Their emotions take over and they become erratic in their emotional stability. Children will present as sometimes happy, other times sad and sometimes rude and angry – without logical reason. This is age dependent. Parents must keep a watch to see how the scattered emotions do not correlate with the stability of their child.
Physical injuries: Your child may wear clothing that covers scars, bruises or cuts. Your young child might suggest that they want to bathe alone, to cover up the injuries. Even if it presents as playtime scars or cuts, if it is recurring or looks like something deeper, then trust your instincts.
Nervousness and anxiety: Often children change their overall interaction with those close to them. Their breathing patterns change, or they do not have eye-to-eye communication with the parent or a caregiver. In social situations, they tend to become nervous and anxious, with a tendency to want to be left alone. When asked about the changes you see in them, it is possible for your child will become defensive and dismissive.
How you can help your child: Listen: When we listen, children become more receptive to talking about sensitive issues. Compassion and care come with actively listening.
Ask questions, but don’t be pushy: If you suspect your child is being bullied, talk to them sensitively. Raise the subject and provide examples of how bullying may occur. Sometimes children do not know the characteristics of bullying. Then lead the conversation to personal circumstances and bring it closer to home. You will notice your child’s body language, tone and vulnerability (if they are bullied). Share that they can talk to you about anything and you will not scold, shout or be angry. Reassure your child that you are there to support and love them.
Validate their feelings: Parents unintentionally ignore or dismiss their child’s feelings because they may be too busy to notice. It is important to be present in your interaction with your children. Validate their feelings by saying it is okay to feel sad or angry. Encourage them to share with you. By doing this, you foster trust and rapport, allowing your child to confide in you.
Be supportive and relatable: Show care through quality time spent together, being attentive and intentional in your relationship. You will not win over your child’s trust by being available for a conversation now and then. Empathise, show care (through words and actions) and be present in your relationship. Support your child instead of putting them down and blaming them for everything that goes wrong.