Customs: a high price to pay

KING Misuzulu kaZwelithini is getting married. He did what society would deem the right thing and sent a delegation from his family to meet the family of his prospective bride, Ntokozo Mayisela, at their home in Newcastle.

According to reports, the couple have known one another for years and have two children together. It was also reported the king would pay lobola of eight cows and R50000 in cash.

The payment for a bride is an ancient custom that is practised in many parts of the world, including India. But it does inadvertently reduce a woman to a possession with her family willing participants.

In Christianity, a daughter is “given away” to become her husband’s property.

In Hinduism, Kanyadaan is performed during the wedding ceremony. The word itself is made up of two separate words: kanya meaning girl and daan meaning donation.

In Islamic weddings, the Wali is generally the father of the bride who “gives away” his daughter.

It is true that customs have shaped who we are today. But, given that they have existed for hundreds of years, we need to discuss their relevance in modern times. More importantly, we need to discuss how they affect the society we are striving to build.

At the end of the discussion, we may very well decide that a particular custom is one we want to keep. But we need to first have the conversation, however uncomfortable it may be.