‘I lost my parents and siblings’
TO DISTRACT herself from the pain of losing her family, Alicia Ramdharee vented through letters. These have now become part of her book, Orphaned by Suicide.
In 1999, Ramdharee, then 12 years old, lost her parents and two siblings.
Her father Des Sewdass, 40, shot her mom Sunitha, 32, her sister Tasha, 8, and her brother Shivenn, 4, in their home in Blue Jill Crescent in Chatsworth, Durban. Her dad then turned the gun on himself.
“I became an orphan instantly after losing my family to suicide in one go,” said Ramdharee, now 33.
She said the incident happened during the December holidays while she was at her maternal family’s home in Johannesburg.
Ramdharee said even after she relocated to Johannesburg to live with family, it took a while for her to deal with the tragedy.
“After the deaths, I also had suicidal thoughts. But something held me back from any attempt. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. The pain of the suicide was too much, so I didn’t want anyone I love to go through it as I did.
“I know I have come far. I have come across many individuals who are going through things that they cannot speak about. I learnt that it is okay to seek help."
Ramdharee said she resigned last year from her job as an administrator, to create awareness on suicide and to save lives.
“I aim to reach all those who have lost loved ones to suicide, have contemplated suicide or self-harm, or those who suffer in silence because of the stigmas around mental health. I am sure many individuals will relate to the book. Everyone needs someone to talk to and to understand what they are feeling or going through, someone who does not pass judgement."
In 2018, Ramdharee created Surviving Suicide, a suicide awareness support group, on Facebook.
She said she received many messages after sharing a video of herself talking about her loss.
Ramdharee said the users on this page used the platform to share their experiences and reach out for help.
“I remind members of the group that they are not alone, that there is always someone willing to listen. I call my members warriors because a warrior fights on. Although chatting with someone sometimes makes it easier, in some cases I advise them to seek professional help by using the Sadag (South African Depression and Anxiety Group) helpline, or a therapist.”
Through the page, members are able to post if they need help, or are going through a rough time.
“We share motivational quotes, memes and stories to help create a positive atmosphere.”
Ramdharee’s book launch and pre-order dates will be announced on her social media platforms.
The book was published by INSPIRED Publishing.