Heartache follows South Africans everywhere
WHEN you see pictures of the Dickason family, you see love. There is lots of hugging, lots of kissing and plenty of smiles. Graham and Lauren Dickason seemed happy as a couple and as a family.
They were married for 15 years and had three daughters – twins aged 2 and a 6-year-old. Both were medical doctors, he an orthopaedic surgeon and she a general practitioner.
In August this year, the family left Pretoria to start a new life in Timaru, a town in New Zealand. Days after their Covid-19 quarantine period ended, their three children were found dead in their home.
Lauren was arrested for the killings and, following a court appearance, was sent to a hospital for mental observation.
Those who knew her spoke of her love for her children. She was described as a “nice” person and a “lovely” person.
Moms killing their children is neither novel nor new despite the societal notion that a mother’s love is unconditional. The subject was even explored centuries ago by the Greek playwright Euripides.
He tells the tragic story of Medea, a princess who ran away from her home and her country to marry Jason, a hero in Greek mythology. When Jason cheats on her, Medea kills her children. She does so because she knows it will cause Jason to suffer.
Medea and Lauren lived in different times and circumstances, but they do share something in common. Both found themselves isolated in a foreign land.
“She isn’t an evil person, she was pushed outside her limits, but I think it might have been the extreme circumstances,” a woman who knew the Dickason family told reporters.
“Her mum isn’t there. Her family isn’t there. Who will know? We weren’t there, not one of us. Perhaps they didn’t anticipate what it would mean to leave everything behind and go.”
From media reports, we know that in South Africa, Lauren had the support of a caregiver. She had family and friends close by who she could count on. But she and her husband gave up all that to create a new life in New Zealand.
Emigration in some form or other has now become the only alternative for those South Africans who can afford to escape the crime and the general breakdown of service delivery.
The state of the economy is also a worry. Jobs are scarce, and for those who come from minority communities, it is next to impossible to find work.
This Heritage Day, we need to reflect on the society we have created. Do each of us truly embrace our diversity, or is it merely words in the preamble to our Constitution?
As things are, it seems we are in the process of writing our very own modern-day tragedy.