Couple share secret to 60 happy years
A PIETERMARITZBURG couple attribute the success of their six-decade union to prayer, love and communication.
Krishnaswami Pillay, 83, and his wife, Vinothakumari, 79, of Northdale, celebrated their diamond anniversary on April 8, with a family dinner at their home.
“We have been blessed to spend 60 years together and we pray for many more,” said Pillay.
He previously lived in Loop Street in central Pietermaritzburg and Vinothakumari was his neighbour. They were members of the Divine Life Society and he attended weekly prayer services at her home.
“I found her to be beautiful. She wore a new dress every time and her hair was styled in a beehive. I fell in love with her because of her good heart and kindness.”
Vinothakumari, who was a dressmaker, said: “Krishna was handsome and a gentleman. He also sang beautifully during the prayer services.”
Pillay, who worked as a manager at a tractor services company, told his niece that he had feelings for Vinothakumari.
“One day after service, I told my niece that Vino would be the perfect marriage partner. A few days later, my niece told me she had some news. She spoke to Vino and her mother about my feelings and they agreed that we should marry. I was overjoyed.”
But first, they got to know each other.
“Krishna visited my home and we used to go to the cinema. We had a lot in common, including our beliefs. We also shared a birth date (October 27), so every year it’s a double celebration,” said Vinothakumari.
Their engagement was on April 3, 1961. The couple then wrote to the now late Swami Sivananda Saraswathi, founder of the Divine Life Society, to bless their marriage.
“He responded before the wedding. He said he was delighted to know that we were entering into marriage, and that we should lead a life of simplicity, moderation and devotion to God. After the blessing from our divine master, we knew we would have a good marriage."
In 1962, their traditional Hindu ceremony was held at the Lotus Hall in Pietermaritzburg among 500 guests. Pillay wore a beige suit, and Vinothakumari, a pink sari. The newly-weds then moved into Vinothakumari’s family home.
She said: “My mum and I lived in the outbuilding and my uncle lived in the main house. But he moved out and the home was vacant, so we moved in.”
The couple had four children – Captain Lurantheran Krishnaswami Pillay, who died in 1996; Padmini Naidoo, now 58; Priya Naidoo, 54; and Vanashree Pillay, 49.
They also have six grandchildren. Their first great-grandchild is expected to be born in May.
Pillay said many people had asked them about the secret to their long marriage.
“I always say prayer and to ask the guidance of our divine master.”
Vinothakumari said: “We have also never argued. If there is good communication, love, trust and understanding then there is no reason to fight. We have shared this advice with our children and grandchildren. If there is a disagreement, then apologise. Tell your partner you love him or her before the day ends as tomorrow is not promised.”
The couple said one of their special memories was visiting Swami Sivananda’s home in India.
“It was a beautiful experience,” said Pillay, a former board member of the Divine Life Society in South Africa.
Pillay had managed an ashram in Loop Street, the land of which was donated by his wife and mother-in-law in 1963.
“We enjoy community work, including feeding schemes, and contribute towards building schools.”
The couple also enjoy gardening.