Don’t give up on PE prematurely

One of the questions I was asked after last week’s column on erectile dysfunction was another of those scary things for men – premature ejaculation (PE).

Think about it, he gets the erection, approaches her seductively and then the “Oops, I’m sorry!” leaves her wondering, “What the hell just happened?”

Now if this does happen to you, here’s a heads up: make light of it, have a laugh and get back to the business at hand, her pleasure. You are so much more than your penis.

But let’s start at the beginning. What is PE? It is considered to be uncontrolled ejaculation, either before or shortly after sexual penetration, with minimal stimulation. By shortly after I mean ejaculation in less than a minute.

PE can be a regular and lifelong problem or it can happen now and then. If you fall into the second category, it is not really a problem. But if it is a regular occurrence, it can be more difficult to deal with.

The causes are not completely understood but there seems to be a general consensus that it is almost always psychological. The chances are you grew up in a conservative home where masturbation was forbidden and discouraged. You were probably made to feel shame and guilt if you were caught so if you did masturbate you probably had to do it quickly to avoid being caught. As a result, you became conditioned to orgasm quickly.

The good news is you can overcome PE but it requires a great deal of practice.

There are two techniques to achieve this. Both can be practiced with or without a partner. It would be better to enlist your partner’s help, who would likely be most eager to please.

The first technique is the stop-start method, and the second is the squeeze technique.

The stop-start method is exactly that. The technique involves stimulating the penis and then stopping just before you feel you are about to ejaculate. Stop for about 30 to 60 seconds, breathe and then start again when you’ve regained control. Repeat this process four or five times before you allow yourself to ejaculate. Use the rest period to focus on other sources of pleasure, especially for your partner. When you are both ready, let it happen.

The squeeze technique works by squeezing the penis between the shaft and the glans. Squeeze the penis for about 30 seconds, just before you feel that you are about to ejaculate. Repeat this process four to five times.

The biggest problem with this technique is you may lose your erection during the process. For this method to be effective you will be required to use it for several months. It requires persistence and perseverance.

Apart from these two techniques, there are a couple of other tricks. When you feel yourself getting too excited, think about something else. Thick condoms can help to decrease sensitivity. There are also creams, gels and sprays that can be applied to the penis to help delay ejaculation.

If you have successfully conquered your premature ejaculation issues, or have tips to share, e-mail me at: