‘Fifty Shades’ II got me in the mood

FIFTY Shades Darker opened in cinemas last weekend. Lola Montez sponsored some goody bags for one of the premières and, as such, I was invited to the screening.

I hated the first movie and dreaded having to see the second. The reviews were awful, so it was with great reluctance that I relinquished my position on the couch to attend. I loved it!

As naffy as the first movie was, so sexy was the second. Before you get all judgemental on me about my taste in movies, let me remind you that movies almost never live up to the expectations you have built up in your mind after reading the book.

Having read all the books in one sitting, I can tell you that my partner and I had great sex for a good while during, and after, the occasion. I’ve said before that I think two people wrote the books. If you write, you will know that to write erotica is extremely difficult. Not even Paulo Coelho got it right in Eleven Minutes.

The erotic scenes in the Fifty Shades trilogy sizzle. It’s the bits in between that destroy the books. I’ve written a piece on how to read the books, available on www. blog.lolamontez.co.za if you’re interested.

I enjoyed the romance and fantasy of the movie. Who doesn’t want longstemmed white roses delivered to your door? Let us not forget that it is fiction. It’s typical boy meets girl, complications tear them apart, more complications, and then they eventually get back together and live happily ever after.

This is that movie – except the sex is fantastic. He does this thing with a spreader bar which had the audience gasping. I loved the audience’s reactions. I’m sure many of them have never watched porn, and I’m sure I saw more than one patron try to hide their face.

There were giggles and squeals but I have no doubt that if they had a partner to go home to, there was vigorous sex to be had.

Jamie Dornan, who plays Christian Grey, looked as if he was concentrating really hard throughout the movie. I saw an interview with him on The Graham Norton Show and he has the broadest Scottish accent I have ever heard. No wonder he had to concentrate. Imagine having to deal with an American accent while having to simulate wild, passionate sex and flying a helicopter. I dare you!

My original displeasure at having to see the movie was definitely influenced by social media, and I’m sorry for it. One of the most disturbing posts are the ones that liken BDSM to abuse.

If Christian Grey was poor and living in a trailer, he would not be the catch he most certainly is in the movie. Let me remind you again that it is a movie.

People who think that submissives in BDSM play are abused and that the practice should be criminalised, obviously don’t understand the power dynamic in BDSM play.

There has to be total trust in BDSM play. How many vanilla relationships can claim that level of trust? All the power lies in the safe word, which the submissive can call at any time. If the safe word is called, the play is over. The power to stop the play is always with the submissive, not the dominant.

As a new age, independent woman, I have a very complicated relationship with dominance. I want a man to be a man, the master of his universe, confident and decisive. I just don’t want him to think he can boss me around.

The one thing I did find terrifying in the movie was his jealousy and stalker tendencies. What scares me more is that women find it attractive and think that it represents love.

Wrong! It is the first sign that he will try to isolate you from your family and friends. Once this is achieved, the emotional and physical abuse will start. It is the first sign of the abuse that is heading your way.

BDSM play is negotiated with rules and safe words. Play usually ends up with an orgasm, or six. Real abuse has no rules or limits. It usually ends up with a visit to the emergency room or morgue. Know the difference.

If you were in two minds about seeing the movie, purchase some silver Ben Wa balls, insert them, and see the movie. There will be much happiness to the body!

For comments or questions, you can email me: sharon@lolamontez.co.za